Teen Spirit
by SisiDraig - 2
Summary: Justin Taylor's starting college but things start to change when he realises he's being taught by 'God'
1. Chapter 1

**D/C: All characters and direct quotes belong to showtime, cowlip and massive corporations ... please don't sue I'm a poor student who's in debt as it is ... =D**

**A/N: Thought I'd give AU a go.... The characters are as cannon as I can manage (if you can imagine Brian giving his life to teaching ... No, me either but lets ignore that fact ... on with the fic. Also; THANKS to the people who reviewed my last fic with help for this one!**

* * *

**Prologue**

Justin Taylor walked along the corridor as quickly as he could checking each number on every door. The lino floor squeaked beneath his trainers but that was the only noise to be heard. There didn't seem to be another soul in the entire building. He knew he was running a bit late but for _no one _to be around seemed a little strange. He looked down at his timetable again, just to check. St Tyler's building, he looked at the closest sign. Yep, that appeared to be this one. Floor 3, he checked the sign again. Yep, that was this floor. Room 3.16. He looked at the room he was stood next to. Room 14. Did that mean he was 302 rooms away from the right place? Surely there weren't that many rooms in the building.

He was starting to panic now. From what he'd heard his lecturer, Mr Kinney, was a straight-talking, hardliner ,who didn't like late comers. Justin was just wondering whether to give up entirely and start again tomorrow, when a low voice in his ear said, "you lost?"

Justin spun round and was confronted by the most beautiful man he had ever seen. This man had dark hair in bangs around his face and dark brown eyes. Justin was pretty sure this was the face of God. He couldn't speak. He just allowed his jaw to open and shut a few times like a baffled goldfish.

"Do you speak English?" The man asked slowly, as though he were talking to a particularly dense child.

Justin nodded nervously.

"Are. You. Lost?"

Justin nodded again, trying to straighten himself out a bit and appear even semi-respectable as he said, "I'm looking for room three hundred and sixteen. Do you know where it is?"

"No," the man shook his head. "But I know where room three point one, six is. The 3 is the floor number."

"What?"

"Christ, you really can't speak English," the man hissed under his breath before sighed loudly and continuing, "come on, I'll take you."

"Oh. Thanks," Justin smiled, shifting his books from one arm to the other to spread the weight before following the man. He almost had to run to keep up with his long strides.

"You know," Justin said, "I'm a bit worried about this lecture."

"Oh?" The man said, his eyebrow raising enquiringly.

"Yeah, apparently the lecturer's a real asshole."

"Really?" the man smirked.

"Do you think he'll yell at me for being late?"

"He'll probably let you off, as it's your first day, just make sure you don't," the man leant back a little to check out Justin's ass, "fall behind."

Justin frowned and turned his ass away from the pervert.

"Well, this is it," the man smiled in a falsely sweet way as he pointed at the class Justin was stopped in front of. Justin looked at the door and gulped. "Well go on," the man encouraged, giving him a gentle shove in the shoulder. "Don't you wanna find out who this 'asshole' lecturer is?"

Justin nodded, took a deep breath and opened the door. The lecturer wasn't there, just thirty or so kids looking as nervous as he felt sat in their chairs anxiously chewing on their pens, or their finger nails or anything else they could find.

"That's lucky," the man said, following Justin into the room, "he's doesn't seem to be here yet. You better sit down before he finds out you were late."

Justin did as the man suggested, slotting himself into a seat on the front row next to a girl with curly, semi-afro hair.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hey, I'm Daphne."

"Justin."

"Nice to meet you," she grinned.

Justin grinned back at her, put his bag on the floor and took out a notepad and pen. He looked up to see the man he'd followed to the room writing on the whiteboard. B - R - I - A - N - . - K - I - N (oh god, please no!) N - E - Y. (Shit!)

"Class," the man smiled, staring right at Justin, "my name is Brian Kinney and I will be your lecturer this semester."

Justin sunk down into his chair as far as the cheep plastic would allow and covered his face with his hands to hide the red flush that was accumulating in his cheeks. He could feel his face burning, he could feel Daphne's confused face peering at him and he could feel Kinney's smug smirk boring into him. He wished more than anything he could just keep sinking and get swallowed up by quicksand. This was the worst start to a year ever!


	2. Chapter 2

Justin fidgeted all through the class. He hardly listened to a word Brian had said. When he wasn't being distracted by the memories of what an idiot he'd been, he was being distracted by Brian's perfect lips, his dark eyes and his strong jaw line. This was so unfair. Every time Brian looked at him, he felt like he was being jolted by a bolt of electricity and a shiver would run down his spine. God, this man was gorgeous.

Suddenly, Justin was aware that everyone around him was getting their stuff . He started to pack up too, slipping his paper and pen into a bag and almost stumbling down the single step to ground level. He pushed his way through the students until he was standing behind Brian. The lecturer had his back to him, rubbing some notes off the board. Justin waited for every other person to leave the room before clearing his throat purposefully.

"Mr Taylor," Brian said slowly concentration still firmly on the whiteboard, though his cleaning had slowed in vigour, "that's a nasty cough you've got there."

"Er, yeah." Justin said.

"Tell me," he said, turning around to stare right into Justin's eyes, into his soul, "does it make you delirious?"

"Er, sorry?"

"I think it must because you were clearly delirious when I brought you to the lesson. You were spouting all kind of nonsense."

"Oh yeah, it's the, er, illness."

"Mm, I thought so," nodded Brian, looking the boy up and down. "I'm glad you're here actually Taylor, I have to give you my contact details."

"You do," Justin squeaked, before coughing and repeating, "you do?" in a much more human tone.

"Yeah. I'm your personal tutor. If you ever need any … assistance in … anything. You call me, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

"Call me Brian. _Sir_ makes me sound so ancient."

"Right, sorry. Thanks … er, Brian."

"Right, now get out of here."

Justin nodded and practically ran to the door.

"Oh and Taylor."

He stopped."Mm?" Justin turned back.

"If call me an asshole again, I will suspend you from the course; indefinitely."

Justin's face dropped but he nodded anyway before walking away as fast as he could.

As he exited the building, his heart was pounding against his ribcage. He'd never thought college would be like this. He certainly hadn't expected to fall for _and_ call his lecturer an asshole on the same day, in the same hour. He sighed and pushed his bag strap higher onto his shoulder before heading to the union.

--

The union seemed so daunting. Everyone seemed to know exactly what was going on, they all had their places to sit and their friends to hang around with. Justin looked around for someone who looked like they might be in first year. He'd already learnt that this first week in college seemed to give you a free pass to sit down and strike up a conversation with anyone else in their first week of college. It was about the only time in life when the 'don't talk to strangers rule' is not only broken but smashed to smithereens as strangers are the only people to talk to. Despite knowing this, he still couldn't pin-point anyone who looked as though they might be even partly willing to talk to him. None of the well-worn chairs seemed free and all of the table were being occupied by large groups of friends chatting and laughing happily.

He walked to the bar anyway and ordered a drink, just as he was handing over the money he heard his name being called. He span round and saw Daphne waving frantically at him.

"Sit here," she said, indicating a spare seat at a table she was sharing with a young boy with dark curls and a strange goatee beard. He was kind of hot, Justin decided, in a starving artist, boy next door kind of way. "This is Ethan, he's in my halls. Ethan, this is Justin. He's on my course."

"Nice to meet you," Ethan said, holding out his hand. Justin took it and they shook, though Justin couldn't help feel Ethan held his hand just a little longer than was necessary.

"I was just telling Ethan about our lecturer. He was so strict and he didn't have a sense of humour at all. What did you think Justin?"

"I thought he was hot," Justin smirked. "In fact, I didn't hear a word he said, I was too busy staring at his ass."

"See Ethan," Daphne said smugly. "I told you, you and Justin would have something in common." Then, turning back to Justin she explained, "Ethan's gay too."

"Right," Justin laughed, sipping his drink.

"I think," Ethan said slowly, "she thinks that means we should immediately go to the ballet and then get married." Justin laughed again. "Though," Ethan said thoughtfully, "if you're not busy Friday night, maybe you could come along and see my first solo show. I'm playing violin and the local theatre house and I could do with all the support I can get."

"He's just being modest. He's amazing," Daphne gushed. "You should hear him play … what's it called again?"

"Paganini's cantabile in D major. Many people say it's my forte, my speciality, if you will."

"It sounds like the angels themselves are playing."

"Well, I wouldn't wanna miss that," Justin smiled, taking another sip of his drink and staring meaningfully at Ethan. Daphne just giggled to herself. Justin knew already that he liked her and he happily sat there for the rest of the afternoon getting steadily more drunk and steadily more optimistic about his time here.

* * *

"So you wanna come out with us later?" Daphne asked as they began to walk back to their respective halls. "Ethan's dragging me to this club in town called Babylon. Have you heard of it?"Justin just blinked slowly. Everyone self-respecting gay man had heard of Babylon. It's reputation far exceeded this city and the cities around it. It was _the _hottest gay club in the state maybe even the whole country, probably the world. It was where every hot guy went, it was where you went to get laid and to party. Drugs, sex and dancing. Justin had only ever dreamt of going and now these two people were inviting him to tag along with them.

"Well?" Ethan asked, ducking his head into Justin's eye line.

"Sounds great."

"Great," Daphne smiled. "We'll meet you here at about ten thirty."

"Sure," Justin nodded.

The three said there goodbyes and walked their separate ways. Justin could feel his stomach churning nervously as he walked briskly back towards his flat.

He'd felt uncomfortable the second his mum had dropped him off at the flat he was forced to call home for at least a year and it hadn't got any better since. He slid his key in the lock and forced open the door. It hardly opened and he found himself squeezing through a tiny gap. When he was in the flat, he saw the problem was being caused by several bin bags which had been left in the hallway without a second thought. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly through his nostrils as he tried to stop from over reacting. He didn't want to make enemies of his flatmates already. He walked to his room and was just opening the door when the kitchen door opened and Chris Hobbs appeared.

"Hey!" he shouted, as though he'd just spotted a long lost friend. "Me and the boys from the football team are going out this evening. Apparently there's this strip joint called The Passion Pit that everyone goes to."

"Yeah, that's not really my thing," Justin mumbled.

"Hot chicks with big tits isn't your thing? What are you, a faggot?"

"No," Justin blurted immediately. "Why would you think that?"

Hobbs just frowned and raised an eyebrow as he looked Justin up and down in confusion. "It was just a joke. So, you coming?"

"I really have a lot of work to do," Justin lied unconvincingly.

"On the first day?"

"Yeah, my lecturers an asshole."

"Yeah? Who've you got?"

"Er, Brian, Brian Kinney."

"I've heard he's a dick," Chris nodded. "Never mind though, you can come next time."

"Sure," Justin smiled.

Justin went into his room and locked the door. He was furious with himself. He'd made a promise to himself that once he was in uni he would be honest about who he was but when actually faced with a potential bully he'd found he couldn't.

He threw his folder on to his desk and collapsed on his undersized bed. Justin wasn't a particularly tall boy, in fact he'd always been a little short, but even he thought the beds were way too small. His feet would almost touch the end when he tried to sleep and his pillow always hung slightly off the side. He groaned as he pushed his face into the duvet. Uni was weird, he decided. You could go from feeling like everything was brilliant to thinking everything was shit in a matter of minutes. He'd found some friends, lived with a homophobe and fallen head over heals for his lecturer. His emotions were shot to pieces and although he'd _never_ admit to it, he missed his mum and his little sister like crazy.

"Cheer up," laughed Daphne. "You're supposed to enjoy going out with your friends."

"Sorry," Justin forced a smile at her. "It's been a weird day, you know."

"Yeah. It's so strange moving out of state and starting this whole new life."

"There are some benefits though," Ethan drawled. Justin found that Ethan constantly sounded like he'd just woken up and his voice hadn't quite adjusted to being awake yet. It was sexy in a way and infuriating in another. It made him sound constantly stoned.

"What are these benefits?" Daphne demanded.

"Well, if you didn't like who you were it's a chance to start over."

"And if you did like who you were?" she enquired.

"Then you get to become that person all over again."

"I don't think it's as easy as that to change," Justin sighed. His feet and legs were acheing already and they weren't even close to the door. The queue just seemed to stretch on forever and ever, snaking way back along the sidewalk until you couldn't even see the club. They'd just reached the carpeted part of the queue and it was now that the trepidation about fake ID's kicked in. All three got their ID's out out and compared to see if they looked genuine.

Daphne was reassuring them yet again, when Justin looked up to see the bouncer pull a man out of the queue and send him away for wearing the wrong trousers. He looked down at his own outfit and shuddered. Would he pass the test?

He needn't have worried. It turned out, being young and blonde with a great ass could get you into any club in the world even if the bouncer could clearly see that the ID's were fake. Justin had nearly passed out with fear when the bouncer had pointed out the problems with the ID and had almost passed out with excitement when he'd told them to go in anyway.

"That was lucky," Daphne grinned, linking her arms with both boys and almost bouncing with excitement. Then they stepped into the club and all three of their jaws dropped. The club was pact to the rafters with beautiful gay men, some blonde, some brunet, some muscle-bound, some slim, some cute, some sexy, some bottoms, some tops … all gorgeous. Justin span full circle. He couldn't help but stare at every curvature and every ripple.

"This is amazing," he whispered. Neither of his friends heard over the deafening thumpa-thumpa of the club beat.

"Come on," he yelled. "Let's go find a seat." His friend's nodded and followed him over to the few booths that were near the bar. They slid into the seats. It was obvious they were all nervous. Everyone here seemed to know exactly what was going on, it was like being in a foreign country when you don't speak the language. They just sat for a while, twiddling their thumbs and giggling when they'd catch each other's eyes.

Eventually, Justin decided he needed a piss. Ethan tried to encourage him to hold it in, claiming all sorts went on in the bathrooms of these clubs but Justin just pushed him away and made his way through the throng of gyrating bodies. He got cornered a few times by various attractive men angling for a fuck but he managed to dodge his way through until he saw a doorway. He assumed it was the way to the toilets and pushed his way through the strange, chain-veiled entrance.

Ethan was right. A _lot _of things were going on here. In fact, he couldn't even see any toilets or even a urinal or a sink. It was just men everywhere fucking and sucking. There were some just stood at the side waiting and their eyes seemed to comb over him as he pushed past. A few made a move towards him but gave up when they saw he wasn't interested. He stepped over people avoided anything he couldn't identify and tried not to get too turned on by everything around him even though it was hard, in more ways than one. Then, he felt a hand land on his shoulder and a voice in his ear whisper,

"aren't you a little young to be in the backroom at Babylon, Taylor?"

* * *

Justin froze. He daren't turn around. He knew it must be a security guy ready to throw him out, though how would the security have known his name? Eventually, the curiosity got the better of him and he _had _to turn around to see who'd caught him.

He gasped. He couldn't believe it. Dark eyes, dark hair, beautiful lips; it was Brian Kinney, his lecturer. Fuck, his mind screamed over and over. What the hell was he going to do? What was he going to say? How was he going to explain this? But then he looked closer and he saw that Brian wasn't angry. He was just smirking.

"Got a drink, Taylor?"

"Er, no, sir, Mr Kinney, sir."

"It's Brian," Brian reminded him firmly adding, "and you look like you could use a stiff one. Come on."

Justin followed the man nervously, feeling a distinct feeling of déjà vu from the morning wash over him but this time he was a lot more terrified. Justin hadn't missed the flirtatious innuendo that his lecturer had offered and he couldn't help but hope that just maybe Brian wanted him just as much as he wanted Brian.

Brian took him to the bar and bought him a beer. They drank their drinks in silence before Brian leant over and shouted,

"You ever danced at Babylon before?"

Justin shook his head.

"Come on," Brian grinned, taking his hand and dragging him towards the dance floor.

Justin just bobbed awkwardly back and forth and Brian chuckled to himself before grabbing Justin's shoulders and guiding his movements as best he could.

"That's better," he whispered in his ear. "You've just gotta relax. Let the thumpa-thumpa take over."

"The what?"

"Just … listen."

Justin listened but the only thing he could hear was the music vibrating in his skull. Slowly, he began to find a rhythm. After a few more songs, dancing with Brian seemed to come to him as naturally as breathing. He moved in time with the music and complimented Brian's movements, sometimes rubbing against him seductively. Brian took a tablet out of his pocket, put in his mouth and swallowed.

"It's my medication," he explained when he saw Justin's concerned face. "Doctors orders. What some?"

"No, thanks. I'm allergic to most drugs."

"You won't be allergic to the ones that matter," Brian reassured him suddenly kissing him deeply so that Justin could taste the bitter tang of the strange tablet. The dancing heated up then. Brian grabbed Justin's hips and pulled him close so that there crotches rubbed together. Justin could hardly stand it, it was too perfect. The dancing seemed to go on forever but also no time at all and suddenly Justin's dream like state was invaded by a short man with brown bug-eyes and a deep frown.

"Mikey," Brian called, wrapping his arm around this man's neck and kissing him on the cheek. "Mikey, meet T- … T-." Brian frowned, leaning heavily against his friend and pinching his nose as he tried to remember the name of the blonde boy he'd been dancing with.

"Justin," Justin supplied.

"Yes!" Brian affirmed, "he's T-Justin."

"Yeah, nice to meet you, I'm sure." Michael scorned turning away from him rudely asking, "what's he taken?"

"Only his medication," Justin shrugged.

"His medication?!" Michael demanded, pushing his face close to Justin's as if he was something foul and revolting and then his face softened and he smirked a little. "How old are you?" he asked.

"Old enough," Justin replied cooly, trying to sound grown-up.

"I bet you're still at school."

"College," Justin corrected.

"I'm his personal tutor," Brian agreed, shifting his weight from Michael's shoulders to Justin's. "And we're about to have a very, important one-to-one session." He turned to Justin and pressed his sweaty forehead against the blonde boy's temple so his lips brushed his ear. He whispered seductively, "I'm going to educate you in ways you can't even begin to imagine."

Justin felt a tingle run down his spine and he tried to repress the shiver of need that followed.

"Brian, you can't do that it's illegal!" Michael protested.

Brian didn't move, he just angled slightly differently so he glower at Michael before asking Justin, "how old are you?"

"Er, eighteen."

"See, perfectly legal."

"But he's a student."

"Oh Michael, live a little," Brian scorned. "Come on," he continued to Justin, tugging on his arm, "I'm gonna teach you some vital skills and then I'm gonna make sure you practice them … all … night … long."

It was only when he was in the jeep heading to who knew where that Justin realised he hadn't told Ethan and Daphne he was leaving. He sent them a text saying; '_got lucky, see you tomorrow. X'_ and hoped they'd understand.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it's been over a week but this chaps nice and long to make up for it! Hope you like it...**

* * *

Justin led on the bed looking up at the ceiling. The room was amazing, blue strip lighting giving the room a sultry, sexy glow and he wanted to stay there forever. He could see Brian's chest rising and falling not far away and hear his slow melodic breathing. He wasn't sure how the older man could sleep. Hadn't he witnessed the most perfect moment of ecstasy? Hadn't he been part of the life changing, the moment that Justin Taylor fell in love with the man of his dreams? It had been perfect. Brian was perfect! Brian's flat was perfect.

It was incredible. The kind of place you dreamt of being fucked in and Justin couldn't stop his eyes from looking around and taking everything in. The open plan, the Italian motor-furniture, the widescreen TV, the sliding doors and the priceless décor. The bed raised like an alter with a blue light that gave the room a indescribable sexiness.

Justin heard a weird mumbling from beside him and Brian shifted slowly in his sleep. His eyelids were twitching and Justin knew he was waking up. He wriggled down the bed so his face was in line with Brian's and waited. He wanted to be the first thing Brian saw in the morning. Brian's eyes fluttered open and he locked gaze with Justin. Then, he frowned. It took his drug-addled mind a few moments to work out where he was and what was happening but as soon as he had, a look of horror took over his face.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he demanded.

"You brought me here, remember?"

"I did?" Brian asked, clutching his head as he pushed himself up onto his elbow and desperately tried to piece together the previous night's events. "Wait … did we…?"

Justin frowned. Did this mean that Brian couldn't remember? But he forced a smile anyway and said, "it was amazing."

Brian flopped back onto his bed and covered his face with his hands. He slid them down slowly until they were only covering his mouth and nose. His eyes were looking straight at Justin.

"FUCK!" he yelled and Justin jumped violently. "You have to go."

"What? Why?"

"Why?!" questioned Brian, as though he'd never heard such a ridiculous question in his life. "Do you have _any _idea how much trouble I'd be in if any of the faculty found out I'd…" He trailed off, running his hand through his hair.

"Fucked a student?" Justin finished helpfully.

"Exactly," Brian said throwing the duvet back and getting out so he could pace. "Shit, shit, shit, shit." He kept repeating like a vulgar ticking clock. He was shaking his head and running his hands through his hair.

Justin got up and walked over to him. He put a hand out and rested it gently on Brian's shoulder, who stopped his pacing in favour of staring at the kid in complete disbelief masked with hatred..

"You're all tight," Justin said in a way he hoped was sexy. "Why don't you let me release some of that … tension?"

There was a moment where Brian Kinney thought, well, I've already fucked him once, what difference does in make if it's twice but then rational thinking kicked in and he pushed Justin away with one hand.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Trying to help you. I just thought that, now we're together…"

"Together!?" choked Brian. "We're not _together_. We're not even a we. I'm me, Brian Kinney, lecturer and you're you, erm," Brian faltered as he tried to recall this boy's first name before getting fed-up and settling for, "something Taylor, a student."

"Justin."

"Whatever. The point is, last night was a mistake. You can't tell anyone about this … ever. Got it?"

Justin wanted to sob. He wanted to curl up in a ball and cry forever but first he had to leave this place. So he gritted his teeth, holding back a river's worth of tears and nodded.

"Good. Now, grab your shit and get out. I'm going for a shower," Brian thought out loud. Just as he shut the bathroom door he added, "and don't be late for your lecture first thing. This," he gestured vaguely around them, "will not count as an excuse."

Justin didn't say anything. He just watched the bathroom door close and the tears began to leak from his tear ducts. He forced the tears away with his knuckles and began to pull on his clothes. He was retrieving his watch from the bedside table when he spotted it. He knew immediately he wanted it as a souvenir. A little black bracelet with white shells stitched on it. He was sure Brian wouldn't miss it. He picked it up and tied it around his wrist before leaving.

* * *

Daphne was looking around frantically. The lecture would start in five minutes and she hadn't heard from Justin since that text last night. Ethan had promised her that everything would be alright but that hadn't stopped her dreaming up a million and one horrific things that could've happened to him and the closer it got to the lecture, the more confident she was that Justin had been murdered in his sleep so when he came around the door, her reaction to scream his name and hug him wasn't as strange as everyone else thought.

"I thought you were dead," she hissed when they sat at their seats.

"I sent you that text," he shrugged.

"Yeah but when I tried ringing you, you'd turned your phone off."

"I was … busy," he blushed.

"So, did you go home with a guy?" Daphne's eyes lit up.

Justin nodded a little distantly. He was very wary of giving away too many details.

"Was he hot?" Daphne asked, grinning nodded again.

"So what did you do?"

"Erm, he fucked me," Justin said.

"Really?" she giggled, her nose wrinkling. "What was it like?"

"It hurt a bit to begin with but after a while you get used to it and then … then it was amazing. We did it all night."

Daphne chuckled and touched his shoulder. "So are you gonna see him again?"

"Erm … I'm definitely going to see him again," Justin answered honestly. "But I don't think it'll be like that again. He seemed to think it was a mistake."

"Oh. I'm sorry Justin."

"No, it's fine. He was right really. He was probably too old for me anyway."

Just at that second the door flung open and Brian walked in. Justin caught his gaze for a moment and Brian smirked. Justin turned bright red and looked away flustered.

"And of course, you're already in love with someone," Daphne giggled, elbowing him in the ribs.

"Am not!"

"You so are, you go all wide-eyed and dopey every time you see him."

"I don't"

"You do. You looooooove him," she sang. "You love Brian Kinney."

"I do not!" Justin exploded and everyone turned to look at them including Brian.

"Have you something you'd like to say, Taylor?" he asked calmly.

Justin blushed bright red and looked down at his knees muttering, "no Brian … er, sir, Mr Kinney."

Brian raised an eyebrow but went back to his lecture without mentioning it again. Justin felt Daphne poke him in the ribs with her pen and whisper,

"It's probably a good thing you don't love him, he'd never look twice at you."

"I bet he would," Justin blurted.

"Whatever, he's a professor. You're a student. I bet he's not even gay."

"He is."

"How do you know? Wait, is this that gaydar thing? Do you have one of those?"

"No, that's bullshit," Justin grinned. "Some myth idiot straight people made up."

"Oh," Daphne said, "so how _do_ you know?"

"I saw him … at Babylon."

"No way!" she laughed, "you're such a liar."

"I'm not lying."

"He's not gay and he certainly wasn't at Babylon. And even if he was, he still wouldn't go anywhere near you."

"He already has," Justin hissed, before he had time to stop himself. He wished the words would come back but he could see the half confused, half delighted look on Daphne's face and he knew it was too late.

"Justin!" she giggled, pushing him in the shoulder. "Oh my god, I can't believe you fucked a lecturer."

"Shhh, keep your voice down. No one can know."

"Okay, okay," she sighed.

"No. I mean it," he urged, "you can't tell a living soul."

"Okay, I won't," she promised, looking back at Brian and giggling. "I can't believe it. He's gorgeous!"

"I know," Justin chuckled, staring dreamily at the man at the front of the class before adding, "you should see his body."

--

The class was over much sooner than either Justin or Daphne anticipated. Neither were ready, they were both completely lost in there own giggled conversation, which meant they were the last two to leave the room.

"Taylor," Brian said, as the two picked up their bags to leave. "Could I see you for a moment please?"

Justin's heart began to pound in his chest. Maybe Brian had changed his mind, maybe he wanted more from Justin, maybe they could start a secret relationship. Justin was sure it would be worth the risk of getting caught. He grabbed Daphne's hand and squeezed it excitedly. Daphne just burst out laughing and practically ran from the room.

"You twot," Brian sighed as the door shut. "You told her."

"It was an accident. It just kinda, slipped out."

"I don't care. You can't go around ruining my name like that."

"But who cares? So long as we can be together, what does it matter if people know?"

"There's nothing to know! We made a mistake when I was very, very high."

"Should you really be taking drugs if you're a member of the faculty?"

"What I do in my own privacy is _my _business."

"Does that include doing me?" Justin asked. He could hardly believe he was saying these things. He felt brave and more than a little stupid but he knew somewhere deep down that this man wanted him, why else would he have asked him to stop after class?

"Don't be ridiculous. Now," he said calmly, holding his hand out, palm up, "I think you have something that belongs to me."

"Huh?"

"My bracelet, you little twot. You stole it from my apartment this morning."

"No I didn't."

Brian sighed very deliberately and then lowered his voice to an angry hiss, "you're wearing it on you're wrist under the sleeve of that _hideous _sweater." Brian grabbed the loose material and pulled at it disgustedly.

"Oh," was all Justin could utter.

"I want it back."

"Right, yeah." Justin fumbled around with the clasp and handed it over sheepishly. "Sorry," he muttered.

"Hmm, sorry's bullshit. You're lucky I didn't call the cops," he said tying the bracelet back in it's proper place. It took a moment or two and Justin just waited patiently, fidgeting a little on the spot. He thought about offering to help but he knew Brian would just snap his head off. Even in the short time he'd known Brian, he knew the man wouldn't accept help from anyone. When Brian had finally finished tying the clasp, he looked up at Justin frowned and said,

"what are you still doing here?"And Justin belatedly took his cue to leave. As soon as he got outside Daphne bombarded him with a million and one questions which he tried to ignore and fob off with semi-answers and dismissive muttering but she kept pestering and pestering until he admitted the whole embarrassing truth.

* * *

Every lecture was more difficult than the last, Justin couldn't even concentrate on the words Brian said, let alone write them down. He just watched those perfect lips form the perfect shapes of the perfect letters. He watched the lips pushing the air around, so plump, so kissable and then there were those eyes, brown so deep you could drown in them if you weren't careful and Justin wasn't being careful, he found himself drowning every single day. He could hardly bare it anymore and yet Brian just looked straight through him. He hardly even acknowledged Justin's existence until the Friday evening tutorial.

There were only six people in this tutorial class and that meant Justin should have at least a sixth of Brian's attention although he couldn't help feel he was getting even less than that. It seemed Brian had something to say to each and every member of his tutorial group except Justin and Justin wanted to find out why. As the rest of the class left, Justin stayed behind and waited for Brian to acknowledge him. He waited a very long time.

"You know," Brian said eventually, after he'd packed away all his notes, pocketed his pen, adjusted his tie, smoothed at his jacket, checked his hair and stood up to leave. "It's very difficult for me to conduct a seminar when you're staring at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you've just seen a great piece of steak and you haven't eaten for weeks."

Justin smirked a bit but he reigned it in before it became a full blown smile and said sternly, "I wanna know why you're ignoring me."

"Just because we fucked doesn't mean I'm going to give you any special favours."

"But you're not doing anything for me, you're actively ignoring me."

"Stop behaving like a child, Taylor. If you wanna go to Babylon and pick up men then man up and deal with the consequences."

"B-but … this is persecution. I could have you arrested."

Suddenly, Justin found himself flung against the wall. A sharp pain tore through his spine and Brian had a scrunched up hold of the front of his shirt, his face just inches from Justin. There breathing was quick and heavy, like they'd been duelling for hours.

"You think you're a man, don't you Taylor?"

Justin just stared back defiantly as he drowned yet again in the brown lagoon of Brian's iris'.

"Well, you're not," Brian spat. "You're only a boy. You can talk big, you can act tough and you can pick up guys in Babylon but you're still a boy. And you can make all the smart-ass comments and do all the tight-ass tricks in the world but it ain't gonna change the fact that you're a stupid kid with no idea how the things work."

Justin swallowed slowly and replied steadily, "aren't you supposed to teach me?"

Brian closed his eyes tight and with one last press to the wall, he let Justin go. The kid didn't move he just stood by the wall and watched as Brian stormed angrily over to pick up his bag.

"Lesson number one," he said. "Never fall for a trick."

Justin watched as his lecturer stormed away his reverberating around his skull. It was weird. _Never fall for a trick. _He'd never once told Brian he'd fallen for him. Maybe it was obvious from the way he looked at him with a love-struck, puppy-dog eyes but it didn't explain why Brian was ignoring him or why he'd gotten so angry. Justin knew there was more, he knew Brian wasn't as okay with all this as he was making out.

Brian got back to his loft and went immediately to his phone. He called his friends, Michael, Emmett; yes, even Ted, and told them to meet him at Babylon pronto. He needed a drink, he needed a dance but what he really needed was a fuck. He couldn't understand how that goddamn kid had got to him so badly. He could hardly plan a lecture knowing he'd be there in the front row, chin resting on his palm, staring unblinkingly at him. Brian felt a tingle run through him at the memory. It was an impossible situation and he couldn't understand what was wrong with him. He'd tried to rationalise the problem and finally he'd discovered the solution. He couldn't remember the fuck so it was like it had never happened. He still yearned for the fuck maybe he could break his 'once only' rule this time. After all, if you're high and you can't remember, it didn't happen, right?

* * *

**Please R&R. Your comments mean a lot to meeeee!!  
Thank youuuuuuuuu! xx**


	4. Chapter 4

Brian saw the guy almost immediately. A short, blonde twink dancing all alone in the centre of the dance floor. There were a couple of guys eyeing him up but Brian knew they were no match for him. He strolled over confidently and span the twink around, he was almost disappointed to find the guy had brown eyes. He shook his head a little to clear his mind of any thoughts and leant forward whispering in the guys ear. They were the words he knew would get him laid. They were a failsafe, they worked on everyone and they worked every time. The guy smiled and nodded as he stepped away and Brian pulled him into a kiss before dragging him to the backroom.

It was just a fuck. It didn't mean anything but Brian couldn't concentrate properly. His head was being flooded with images of that fucking kid, his bright eyes and blonde hair. The way he gazed at Brian. The way he laughed. The way he smiled. The way he fumbled his words.

"Fuck!" Brian shouted as all the images in his brain got too much. He couldn't cope, he needed to fuck that kid and move on.

"Yeah!" The twink groaned and Brian just frowned and finished the job.

--

The lecture was torture. Brian could hardly concentrate, he could just feel blue eyes in the front row staring intently at him. He felt like he was under a spotlight as though his every move was being scrutinised. He coughed and loosened his collar but nothing was working. The lesson came to an end and Taylor was one of the first to jump to his feet and make his way to the door.

"Er, Taylor," the kid turned back, "I need to speak to you about your assignment."

Justin nodded slowly although he didn't know what assignment Brian was referring too. It didn't matter, he wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to spend time with his lecturer. The class filed out slowly and Daphne said something about waiting outside. And then, it was just the two of them.

They were silent for a while. They both just stood there deliberately not looking at one another. They could hear the clicking of heels on wooden flooring outside the room and the faint buzzing of the heating system in the background, through the open window there was the humming of car engines and the chattering of carefree students but in the room they were deafened by the perpetual silence.

"Sir," Justin said eventually. "Brian. What's wrong with my assignment?"

"It's something I need to speak to you about _personally_ … away from other people."

"I see."

"Perhaps you could come to this address," he smirked, handing over a card. Justin read it; 6 Fuller, corner of Tremont. He frowned. He knew that address. He'd been there once before, he'd spent the night once before.

"This is _your _address."

"Alright," Brian hushed him. "Just be there. Tonight. 9.30pm." And with that, Brian walked out of the room and straight into Daphne, knocking all his papers and folders everywhere. He swore sharply under his breath.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, quickly helping him pick everything up.

"Eavesdropping a habit of yours Daphne?"

"Erm, no Brian," she said holding out a folder tentatively.

"Let's hope not," he scowled, snatching the folder back before stomping down the corridor.

Daphne watched him march away and frowned. She turned her attention to Justin who'd just appeared at the doorway grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"How did it go?" she asked.

Justin just beamed back at her and held up the card with the address.

--

Justin flopped back on the bed and turned his head to the right. Brian was lighting a cigarette and smiling slightly to himself. It had been amazing. They both knew it.

Justin twisted his body a bit so he was lying on his side, trying to make himself more comfortable. He sighed contentedly. He felt a happy smile pulling at the corners of his mouth and he did nothing to stop it from taking over his face.

Brian's eyes slid to the side and he stared at Justin for a moment before sighing and returning his attention to the ceiling.

"What?" he asked eventually.

"Nothing," Justin smiled.

"You've got a stupid grin on your face," Brian said, not quite managing to sound as angry as he's intended.

Justin pulled a face to show he didn't know what Brian was talking about, though the twinkle in his eyes gave him away. Brian wasn't one to beg so he just shrugged and went back to his cigarette, trying not to think of the possible consequences if any of his colleagues found out about this. Instead, he focused on the taste on his tongue, the warmth of the smoke filling his lungs and the revelled in that calm, post-coital feeling that was overcoming him. He even closed his eyes and was succumbing to the peace when;

"I knew, you know" and his eyelids snapped back open and he saw blue eyes staring lovingly at him. He didn't want to encourage the kid. He wanted him out but they'd already negotiated that Justin would stay the night; but that had been when Brian had been hard and desperate for a fuck. Now, he was wishing he'd been stronger and forced Justin to agree to leave straight away. Having said that, he was _kind _of interested to hear what the kid had to say so he asked,

"Knew what?"

"That you'd cave in eventually?"

"Cave in?"

"You know, beg me to come back and do this again."

"I didn't beg."

"You didn't have to," Justin smiled, reaching his hand out tentatively and tracing a finger along Brian's perfectly toned bicep. "I'd have come anyway."

"And come you did," Brian said smugly.

Justin smiled a bit and leant over to press his lips to Brian's shoulder, then his collarbone, that bit of flesh below his ear, his cheek.

"What are you doing?" Brian asked slowly.

"Ready for one more … old man?"

Brian's face was expressionless as he leant over to the bedside table and stubbed out his cigarette. Then he turned slowly back to Justin and flipped the kind onto his stomach, pressing against his back he pressed his lips to that sensitive bit of skin just behind Justin's ear, kissing it gently before whispering;

"who're you calling old?"

--

Justin pushed open the door of his flat as best he could. The bags of rubbish in the corridor had already multiplied in the space of 2 weeks. The flat stunk of skunk, alcohol and piss. It flooded his nose and he gagged as he pushed his way past the bags. Justin found out why the flat was so disgusting, when Chris Hobbs stumbled around the opposite end of the corridor holding out a beer in one hand and chugging from the beer in his other hand.

"Twenty four hour party," he beamed, staggering towards Justin.

"Yeah. I really can't. I've got a lecture to go to. I only came back to get some books."

"Have you only just got in?" Chris asked, leaning heavily against a wall and raising his eyebrows, looking mildly impressed.

"Yeah."

"Someone got lucky!" he bellowed and he was immediately joined by the rest of the flatmates.

"Tell us what she was like," demanded the other boy, Jim.

"Yeah," Chris agreed, "did she have big tits?"

Justin thought of Brian's incredible pecs. "Not really," he shook his head.

"Then was she a dog?" Jim asked.

"No."

"So what _was_ she like?"

"Beautiful," Justin sighed dreamily.

"Awww," the two girls giggled. "That's so romantic."

"Urgh, romance," Chris scorned. "It wasn't romantic, was it Taylor?"

"No," he shook his head decisively. "It was just fucking. That was made very clear."

"Good man," Jim grinned, taking the spare beer from Chris and handing it to Justin. "Breakfast beer is a must in a situation like this."

Justin smiled and took the drink politely. He took a sip and then made an excuse to leave, slumping off to his room. He poured the rest of his beer out of the window, not bothering to check if anyone was below him. He heard swearing, a lot of it, and peeped his head cautiously out the window.

"There you are you little asshole!" the man was shouting, glaring directly at him. Justin was horrified and ducked back inside, calling, "sorry."

He looked at his watched and groaned. If he didn't leave now he'd be late for his lecture, Brian's lecture, but if he did leave now, he was confident the beer-soaked man would kill him. He pulled up his hood so it almost covered his face and grabbed his bag, maybe the man wouldn't recognise him. He walked out the door snuck a look to the right. The was a man was pointing right at him. Damn.

"That's him," he shouted. "That's the kid."

Justin looked up properly this time and gasped. He recognised the man immediately. He was the weird bug-eyed man from Babylon, Brian's friend. What was his name again? Michael? And next to him was Brian. They were both glaring in his direction but Justin was pretty sure they didn't recognise him. Brian beckoned him over angrily and Justin sighed. He knew he was about to get into a whole heap of trouble.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized as soon as he came into ear shot. "I didn't know anyone was there, I swear."

"Sorry's bullshit!" Brian snapped. "You shouldn't be throwing beer out of your window," he licked Michael's face slowly, "especially not beer of that quality."

"Brian!" Michael whined, wiping his face clean of saliva and alcohol, "get off."

"Just savouring the taste of you," Brian said suggestively and Justin felt his stomach churn with jealousy and his fists clenched a little. "So, boy," he returned to Justin, "apologize to Mikey and we'll all be on our way."

"Sorry Mikey."

"It's Mr Novotny to you. And take your hood down when you're addressing an adult."

Justin ducked his head and slowly pulled back his hood saying,

"Sorry … Mr Novotny."

"Oh great it's _you_," Michael scorned, though Justin couldn't miss the smirk on Brian's face. He looked genuinely amused by the situation. "Aren't you gonna say anything?" Michael demanded of his friend.

"What would you like me to say? Taylor's apologized and if he doesn't leave _now!_" Brian hissed the word and glared at his student, "he's going to be late for his lecture."

Justin took his cue to leave and ducked away almost running down the sidewalk away from them. Michael turned to glare at his chuckling friend.

"Well, I'm glad you think it's funny."

Brian just shrugged and hoisted his bag further onto his shoulder. He had no desire to explain himself to his best friend. There were so many things Michael couldn't understand about Brian, one of which was if he wanted someone he'd have them, however big a risk. And the truth was, he'd wanted that kid. A Kinney fuck was a one time thing (or two time thing is this one specific situation) and that was all it had been, a good old fashioned, no strings attached fuck. Hopefully, Justin would understand that.

--

"I think I love him."

"Justin," chuckled Daphne, pushing him fondly in the shoulder. "You hardly know him."

"I know him and he knows me, better than anyone's ever known me before."

"Hmm, so when are you gonna see him next?"

"In about ten minutes," Justin grinned, looking up at the clock on their lecture theatre.

"I mean _outside_ lectures."

"Oh. I was thinking I might go around there tonight."

"Tonight? You can't. It's Ethan's concert."

"Shit," Justin hissed.

"Taylor, watch your language," Brian barked, "Smith, sit down and Edwards, will you pull your shirt down or your skirt up. I don't need to see your thong, I've just eaten breakfast."

"You're such a pervert," Courtney Edwards scowled, pulling her shirt down and sitting at the chair. "You know it's illegal to fuck your students, however much you want to … however much _I _want to."

Brian's gaze flicked to Justin and back to Courtney, so quickly no one but Daphne and Justin noticed it but that didn't stop them nudging each other and giggling knowingly. Brian, however, didn't flinch. He just stared at Edwards and told her he'd sooner fuck his own mother's pet cat than her and to sit down before she embarrassed herself any further.

Justin couldn't help smiling to himself. He knew he'd been an exception the rule. He knew he was special and he knew Brian knew it too.

* * *

**Thanks for reading ... please review??  
****Next Chapter up Tomorrow!  
xx**


	5. Chapter 5

Ethan stroked the bow across his violin and emitted a screechy sound into the hall.

"Is it supposed to sound like that?" Justin hissed in Daphne's ear.

"Will you shut up, he's doing an amazing job."

"I hate violin music."

"You never said that the other day?"

"Yeah, well I only found out ten minutes ago."

At that point a woman in the row in front turned around and told them to shut the hell up. Justin sighed loudly and slumped back into his chair. The room had been done up to look like a concert hall, it was all red carpets and mahogany wood with intricate designs on gold trimming. It was regal and impressive, as though the Queen of Britain might have lived there. But it was also cold and boring and Justin was struggling not to yawn. He kept smiling and acting interested because he was aware of the fact Ethan kept staring at him, making sure he was enjoying himself but all Justin could think of was Brian. He wanted to sneak out and go to Babylon and meet up with the man who'd so effortlessly taken over every moment of his life. Brian Kinney was like an incurable disease that flooded his every fibre and the only way to ease the pain was to be with him, to feel him, to taste him.

Justin shivered with desire and Daphne elbowed him in the ribs.

"You moaned," she giggled. "Thinking about a certain beautiful lecturer, were you?"

"No," Justin blushed.

"Well pay attention it's really important to Ethan that you enjoy yourself."

"It is?"

"Of course it is. If you weren't so blinded by your obsession with Brian you'd see that Ethan really likes you."

"He does?" Justin looked up as the olive-skinned violinist bobbed and ducked his curly head in time to the music. He was good looking, Justin supposed, but he'd never really thought of him as anything more than Daphne's flatmate, a friend at best.

--

"So, did you like it?" Ethan smiled. He was sweating a little, his white shirt sticking to his body and Justin's eyes roamed over him, sizing him up. It wasn't a bad body; for a violinist.

"You were amazing!" Daphne beamed, throwing herself at Ethan and almost choking him with her hug.

"Thanks Daph," he smiled as she stepped away. And suddenly, they were both looking at Justin, waiting for his verdict.

"It was … fabulous," lied Justin with a smile. "I never knew you were so talented."

Ethan grinned so widely Justin thought it must have hurt his cheeks. "Well, people are saying I'm the next Midori with the looks of Justin Timberlake."

"You're better looking than Timberlake," Justin said immediately, forgetting what Daphne had just told him and forgetting the possible implication of his comment. All he'd meant was he'd never really found Timberlake that good looking, he hadn't meant to fill Ethan with false hope of a relationship but even before he'd finished the sentence he could see the hope flooding Ethan's eyes. Shit.

Daphne suggested they go to the union to celebrate. Ethan sat very close to Justin and Justin wished he wouldn't. He kept trying to shuffle away subtly. He even suggested he should leave a few times only for the suggestion to be met with an angry glare from Daphne and a hiss of,

"don't you dare!"

His body stayed in the union all night with his friends but his mind had wandered to Brian.

--

Brian looked out over the pulsating, gyrating bodies as they grinded and moved on the dance floor. He'd been inadvertently watching the door all night, waiting for the blonde hair of his personal stalker to bound in but the kid never arrived, it was just generic muscle-bound hunks, followed by skinny little twinks and the odd bear.

"Hey," Michael said, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You searching for talent?"

"Mmm, something like that," Brian nodded, pointing a finger into the crowd at a blonde twink that had caught his eye. "What do you think of him?"

"Aren't you a little old for him?"

Brian turned to glare at his friend, who immediately fumbled his words,

"I mean he's quite young."

Brian's eyes narrowed even more.

"You don't usually go for blondes," Michael tried and Brian's face visibly relaxed as he looked back into the crowd.

"I'll make an exception," he smiled and walked away from his friend and down the stairs towards his prey.

--

It was almost one o'clock in the afternoon and Justin's stomach was starting to rumble painfully. He clutched at his belly with one hand and considered going to the kitchen of his flat but he could hear Jim and Chris sat in there making some jokes about something that probably wasn't funny in the slightest. There was only one thing to do, go out for lunch.

Justin took a trip to Liberty Avenue. He liked it there. He felt at home, surrounded by people who actually accepted him, who wouldn't give a shit if he started making out with some guy right there on the streets. Eventually, he found a brightly coloured café called the Liberty Diner. He went in. It was tacky as hell and full of horny queers, eyeing him up. He sat down at one of the tables and was immediately assaulted by the smell of cheep, flowery perfume and lots of colour.

"Hi honey, haven't seen you around here before" came the gravely voice of the boisterous redhead, "what can I get you?"

"Erm," Justin grabbed the menu and looked for something suitable. "What's the pink plate special?"

"An excellent choice, that's what it is," the redhead beamed, scribbling down the order, "pink plate special coming right up."

"Debbie, you really shouldn't force that shit down the new people's throats, I thought the idea was that they come back, not throw up." Justin recognised that voice and that superior tone; Brian. He beamed when he saw his lecturer sipping coffee at the bar. "Afternoon Taylor," Brian smirked after being told to 'shut the fuck up' by Debbie.

"Hey," Justin grinned back.

"Wow, honey," laughed Debbie, "a smile like that should come with a warning - it's brighter than sunshine."

Justin just grinned again and Debbie pretended to shield her eyes before going to place the order on the roundabout.

"Ignore Debbie," Brian smirked, raising his voice a little so it would reach the redhead. "She hasn't realised that dressing like Bobo the clown doesn't make her funny."

"I heard that … asshole."

Brian just rolled his eyes, took another sip of his coffee and returned to flicking through his copy of OUT. Justin watched him for a second. It was ridiculous, this man even made reading a newspaper hot. Brian didn't take his eyes off the paper but it didn't matter. He knew Justin was watching him.

"What?"

Justin jumped. "I, er, nothing," he sighed, watching his own hands as he began to twiddle his thumbs. His thumbs rotated slowly at first, then faster and faster until they were just a blur of anxious energy. He allowed himself to steal a look at Brian. God he was beautiful. Justin took a deep breath and pushed himself to his feet, he walked carefully to his lecturer and placed a hand tentatively on his knee.

Brian looked down at the hand, then at Justin, then back to his paper as though this kind of thing happened all the time.

"I haven't got anything to do this afternoon," Justin whispered, acting more confident than he was feeling as he allowed his hand to creep higher up Brian's thigh.

"It's alright for students, isn't it?" Brian said as though he were making polite conversation and not as though there was a hand working it's way to his cock.

"I was thinking I might do some kind of … exercise."

"The college gym's very good."

"I can't afford it."

"Go jogging."

"I need a training buddy."

"I'm assuming you've made some friends by now."

"I don't think they'd be interested in the kind of exercise I have planned," Justin couldn't believe the words that were leaving his lips. This wasn't him. He felt like he was watching someone else, someone confident trying to seduce Brian. His hand squeezed gently as it reached it's target and Brian took a sharp intake of breath.

Brian didn't know what was happening. God he wanted this kid. He wanted him so bad but he couldn't break his rules again. He only had one, don't fuck the same trick twice. It only led to complications, relationships, talk of love and commitment but he _wanted _Justin. He wanted him on the floor, over the sofa, in the shower, in his bed, on his stomach, on his back. He shook his head to free himself of the beautiful images that were flashing through his head. He had to be strong. It was wrong, it was illegal and it was complicated. And anyway, Justin could only be about eighteen. He was too young … _far_ too young. So Brian took a deep breath, calmly removed Justin's hand and said,

"I don't think this is appropriate student lecturer relations."

"It's a Saturday," Justin pointed out as a last ditch effort to nail his man. "It's a day off, you're not my lecturer on the weekend."

Brian couldn't argue with that logic and smirked, "my place, five minutes," he whispered. Justin beamed back and ran off. The door was just shutting when Debbie arrived with his food.

"Where's Sunshine gone?" she demanded to Brian, who just grinned widely.

"Something came up," he smirked, getting to his feet and leaving the money by his coffee. "See you later Deb," he grinned and left the diner smugly. Well, it's easy to be smug when you're about to go home and fuck a boy as beautiful as Justin Taylor.

--

Justin was doing his homework at Brian's computer, when Brian stepped out of the shower.

"Can you help me with this?" he asked.

"No."

"But you're my personal tutor, you have to help when I ask."

"It's a Saturday and as you so … _brilliantly _pointed out, it's my day off," Brian smirked, leaning over Justin's work to get a cigarette and dripping water all over his books.

"Careful!"

"I'm sure your professor will understand," Brian smirked, lighting up and taking a long drag. He exhaled slowly and pointed at Justin's work, "that's not right," he said calmly. "And if you paid more attention in class, you'd know that we can't use wikipedia for research."

"Well as long as the professor doesn't find out, it'll be okay, won't it?"

"Hmm," Brian hummed, in his ear. Justin smiled, he could feel the damp hair pressing against his cheek, he could feel Brian soft-as-silk skin pressing against his neck and then the smell of soap and shampoo mixed with tobacco as Brian breathed the smoke out heavily. "You know, I don't remember telling you could use my computer."

"I figured it would be okay, I haven't got one at the flat and I can't use the college ones until Monday."

"So?"

"So I've got to hand this assignment in first thing Monday morning."

"Can't you ask your lecturer for an extension?"

"Nah, he's a real asshole," Justin smirked.

"Watch it, or I'll have to spank you."

"Is that a promise?" Justin asked, raising an eyebrow flirtatiously and Brian knew he was gonna need another shower.

They'd barely got going when there was a knock at the door. And then another knock at the door, and another and it got louder and more rapid until Brian lost his rhythm and had to stop.

"Wait here," he groaned, "I'll be back when I've told this asshole to fuck off."

Brian grabbed a shirt from the foot of the bed and covered himself up a bit before sliding open his door.

"Hey! I've just bought Captain Astro 24, the one where Captain Astro finds Astro Dog and … why aren't you wearing any clothes?"

Brian just raised an eyebrow and leant against the door heavily, "okay. I won't answer that question and … you can just take a guess."

"It's the middle of the afternoon!?"

"Afternoon delight," Brian shrugged with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Haven't you got anything better to do?"

"Honestly, no."

"You should get a hobby," Michael said pushing his way through the door and into the flat.

"I _have _a hobby," Brian said, grabbing Michael's shirt collar and dragging him back towards the door. "And if you fuck off, I'll get back to it."

"I mean a _real _hobby."

"Collecting colouring books of superheroes, in plastic cases," he lifted issue 24 between finger and thumb as though it would give him a disease, "because they're too precious to be … breathed on or … touched by natural finger oils or some shit is _not _a hobby. It's an obsession … and a waste of money."

"It's not a waste of money."

"How much was this?" Brian asked slamming the magazine into Michael's chest so he staggered backwards towards the door.

"Erm…." he blushed.

"Exactly, my hobby is free, fun and fabulous."

"Briaaaaaan," came the bored whine from the bedroom. "Hurry up!"

Michael's eyes widened in complete disbelief. "No fucking way," he said, pushing past Brian and marching into the room.

Brian heard a little yelp of protest from Justin and Michael shout something about using Brian to get ahead in college. He heard Justin complain and he heard Michael shouting back and then it was just a noise of arguing and Brian slumped against the wall, head in hand and breathed out slowly. He'd never asked for any of this. He just wanted an easy life, a couple of friends, a steady job and the ability to fuck whoever he wanted whenever he wanted.

Suddenly, the noise from the bedroom stopped and Brian heard the words he'd hoped he'd never hear "I love him," though he couldn't work out which one of his adoring fans had said it. He just pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily as Michael rounded the corner and marched over to him.

"I hope you know what you're doing," he growled before walking out the door.

"Erm, Michael," Brian called after him.

"Huh?"

"You forgot your, er, magazine," he said, holding the comic. Michael just scowled and snatched it from Brian's hands, storming down the stairs.

Brian just shook his head and turned around to see Justin stood butt naked in the middle of the room.

"You're friend's an asshole."

"Watch your mouth," warned Brian sternly. "And it's not his fault. He's just jealous."

"Of what?"

"He loves me," Brian shrugged. "He can't help it, most people do." He allowed his eyes to wander slowly up and down Justin's body. "Wanna finish?"

"You're still up for it?"

Brian dropped the shirt that was covering him, looked down and then beamed at the younger man.

"I'm still up," he confirmed.

"You're unbelievable." Justin shook his head, sauntering slowly towards the older man and running a finger down his chest.

"I know."

"No, I mean, nothing puts you off getting your dick sucked."

"Nope. I could be about to crash in a plane, about to get shot or face to face with a man-eating crocidile, I'd make 'em blow me first." He placed his hand on top of Justin's head and pushed him gently to his knees.

"You're insatiable."

"I've always said I wanna come before I go."

Justin looked up and saw Brian smiling down at him as he placed his hand gently at the side of Justin's face.

--

Brian had taken Justin to Babylon that night. He'd explained a million and one times that it was _not _a date, it had simply been about convenience. They'd both been going the same way and it would have been a waste of money for Justin to get a cab. The fact they'd ended up dancing together had been an accident and when Justin had introduced himself to Brian's other friends, Emmett and Ted, it had just been going through the motions. Brian was going to push the kid away as soon as a better offer came along. He didn't want to kiss him, he was just making other people jealous. They didn't go to the backroom together. Brian went alone because he had wanted to see what the guys were like tonight and Justin had followed him. He'd only ended up fucking Justin because he felt like he should give the kid a good final goodbye. It wasn't as though he'd be taking him home again.

Justin had only gone back to the loft with him because he hadn't been able to get back to his halls that late on a Sunday. He'd only stayed in Brian's bed because Brian hadn't wanted Justin jerking off on his Italian motor furniture. And well, Brian's a hot-blooded gay man, he couldn't have a hot, young twink in his bed and not fuck him.

What kind of stud would he be?

* * *

Justin turned up at his lecture Monday morning ten minutes late. Brian was taking in everyone's assignments in order and ticking their names off the register as he got to them. He'd just taken in Tina Zade's, when Justin stumbled through the door, hair blown everywhere, shoes untied and looking a complete mess.

"You're late Taylor," he said sternly as Justin walked cockily into the room and slipped into his seat.

"Sorry, I guess I was just … busy."

"Well, I hope whatever you were up to was worth losing marks on your assignment."

"Huh?"

"I told you last week, you'd lose marks if you didn't hand in the assignment when I called your name on the register. So ... where is it?"

"Where's what?"

"Your assignment."

"You're fucking kidding me!" Justin said, his face dropping in horror.

"Yes Taylor," Brian scorned, "I'm kidding you, everyone else in this class had to get there work handed in today but you can hand it in whenever you want because you're in someway special. Well, that might be what mummy and daddy tell you Taylor but here you're just the same as everyone else."

"But I told you the other day I was having trouble with it," Justin said slowly, pushing out each syllable very deliberately.

"And I told you to request an extended deadline," Brian countered in the same tone.

"I thought that was implied!"

"Did you go through the proper channels? Did I receive a formal request for a deadline extension?"

Justin dug his toe into the floor, bitterly aware that the attention of the whole class was on him. "No," he shook his head sheepishly.

"No," Brian repeated. "Now I'm sorry Taylor but I'm going to have to fail you on this assignment."

"But sir …."

"But nothing," Brian cut in. "If you want to discuss it you can see me after the lecture. You've already wasted enough of your classmate's time."

Justin just scowled and slumped back in his chair. He couldn't believe it. How had Brian expected him to finish assignment when he'd spent virtually the entire weekend with him? He refused to listen to a word Brian said in some kind of second rate protest. He just crossed his arms and sat like a petulant child.

When the end of the lecture came around, Justin didn't move. He didn't even acknowledge Daphne when she said she'd wait for him outside the room. He just glared at Brian arms folding, face frowning. He waited until the door had closed behind the last person, then he leapt to his feet and ran to stand in front of Brian's desk.

"What the fuck!?" he demanded.

"Sit down Taylor," Brian sighed, gesturing to the other chair at his desk. Justin sat down angrily and continued to scowl. "What exactly do you want to discuss?"

"You! You completely embarrassed me in front of the whole class. You knew I didn't do that assignment. I was with you!"

"That's hardly an excuse, I'm sure other people in the class like going out on the weekend."

"I tried to do it but you stopped me."

"I didn't stop you, I offered you an alternative way to spend your time, I _certainly _didn't tell you, you didn't have to hand it in."

"But, but…"

"Outside this room," Brian interrupted sternly, "what we do is our own business, it's my private life and I can do what I want. Inside this room, I am your lecturer and you are my student and if you don't get your assignments in, I have to mark you down."

"I was at your fucking apartment!"

"So leave my fucking apartment and do your work," Brian replied calmly. "Get it in by the end of the week with a legitimate reason for it being late and you won't lose too many marks."

"You're an asshole!"

"And you are, primarily, a student."

"Fuck you Brian!" Justin shouted and stormed out of the room. He pushed past Daphne but she followed him trying to find out what had happened. He refused to tell her. He felt like an idiot. He'd been sacrificing his education for that man, he thought they'd had an agreement. Turned out Brian Kinney really was an asshole.

He was still seething when they met Ethan at the café for lunch.

"What's up with him?"

"He forgot to hand in an assignment."

"The lecturer's an asshole!" Justin snapped. "He as good as told me it didn't matter and now he's saying he's gonna mark my grades down."

"Forget about it," Ethan suggested, touching Justin's arm gently. "It's not worth it."

Justin looked up, he saw that look in Ethan's eyes. It was a look of longing and need but also something else … something more powerful that Justin had never seen before.

"D'you wanna go somewhere?" Justin asked slowly. "Boys night out, just the two of us."

"Where?"

"I don't know. Babylon? Woody's?"

"Justin," Daphne said, "do you think that's a good idea?"

"I think it's a very good idea," Justin said, not taking his eyes off Ethan. "What do you think?"

"Sound good," Ethan grinned back.

--

Justin took Ethan to Woody's first. He'd heard Brian and his friends talking about it as there local. He figured if he hung around there long enough he'd bump into someone. Ethan was quiet when they got to the pub. He looked a bit out of his comfort zone, as though he'd rather be at home with his violin but he kept smiling at Justin. Justin smiled back encouragingly and they talked about everything and nothing until Justin saw Brian walk through the door. He had his arm around Michael's shoulders and was squeezing Ted's arm and saying something about him being older than the crypt keeper. Ted slapped his hand away just as Michael looked up and spotted Justin.

Justin saw him groan and peal away from Brian's embrace and mutter something. Brian, Emmett and Ted immediately looked in his direction and Justin launched himself at Ethan, kissing him furiously. When he pulled away, Brian was at the bar buying a drink and Ethan was beaming up at him, leaning in to kiss his jaw and whispering things like,

"let's get out of here. We can go to my flat, it's closer than yours."

Justin's heart sank. Brian didn't seem to give a shit. He hadn't even flinched when Justin had kissed Ethan. It was clear now that Justin had meant nothing so he agreed to go with Ethan and made sure he pushed his elbow in Brian's back as they left hand in hand.

Brian didn't need to be prodded in the back to notice Justin leaving with that guy. He'd been watching the whole thing. He felt irrationally angered by Justin's immaturity and his arrogance in believing that Brian would just let him do what he wanted when it came to college work. He'd only drawn some guidelines as to how he should act. He hadn't intended to push him away indefinitely. Though perhaps this would be best all round. He knew what he'd been doing with Justin was wrong and risky and probably not worth it. And he'd been trying to get rid of the kid since he'd met him. He downed another pint.

"Another," he gasped as the barman took his empty glass and filled it up. "Thanks," he said, downing it again and demanding a refill.

After all … he was celebrating, no more stalkers.

* * *

**Please Review??  
Thanks for reading this far ... you're all legends! =D  
xx**


	6. Chapter 6

Justin crept out of Ethan's room as quietly as he could. The flat was silent. The world was silent, the sun was barely up and it would be hours before any self-respecting student raised their head. He shut the door as silently as possible and tiptoed down the corridor to the front door.

"Hey," hissed a voice and Justin froze. He didn't want to have to confront Ethan or have to explain that it really hadn't meant anything and that he'd been angry.

"Don't ignore me Justin! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Justin frowned. That wasn't Ethan's voice, it was Daphne's. He turned around and saw her face blurred in the darkness.

"How could you do that to him?" she demanded, pulling him into the kitchen area.

"Do what?"

"Use him like that. You're supposed to be his friend."

"No, he's your friend," Justin scowled. "To me, he's just a fuck."

"How dare you? He really likes you."

"So?"

"So … he deserves better. I know Brian hurt you but that's no reason to turn into an asshole. And anyway, I can see why Brian might be angry."

"What?"

"Well, think of it from his point of view. You sleep with him and then demand an extension on your assignment. He probably thinks you were using him."

Justin's heart sank. "Shit, do you think…"

"Probably."

"I might go and see him."

"Now?"

Justin checked the time. It was three thirty in the morning but Justin had a feeling that Brian might work on club-boy time. Three in the morning might be Justin's best chance of catching him.

The rickety elevator seemed to take forever and the whirring of the cogs were so loud in his ear drums it actually started to grate on him and his teeth gritted together. He didn't have time for this, he just needed to see Brian and apologise for being a jerk to him.

Eventually, the sliding blue door came into vision and Justin grinned to himself as he pulled the door of the elevator up and got out. He hammered on the door like a madman, something he seriously regretted when Brian pulled back the door, looking more than a little furious.

"What the fuck do you want?" he demanded. His bangs were sticking to his forehead a little and his skin was sheen with sweat. He was only wearing trousers and Justin just stared for a moment as he realised what he'd walked in on.

"I, er…." He fumbled, "I was just coming to apologise."

"It's almost four in the morning."

"I know, but" Justin laughed breathily, "no time like the present, right?"

Brian just raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Am I disturbing something?" Justin asked, trying to pear over Brian's shoulder.

"No Taylor, you're timing is impeccable," growled Brian as his trick appeared down the stairs from his bedroom and strolled towards the door to let himself out. "We'd just finished," he smiled.

"Great, so can we talk."

"No."

"What? Why?"

"Because we," he said, using his arm to push Justin out of the way as another man strolled into the loft, "have just begun."

"What is this? Justin asked, "have you got a waiting room?"

"Something like that," smirked Brian. "Now … leave me alone, I'm busy." He went to shut the door.

"Wait," Justin cried.

Brian halted so the door was only half closed. He said nothing but he looked at Justin, letting him know it was his time to speak, though he already looked like whatever Justin decided to say would bore him.

"I didn't want you to think that I'm using you to get better grades."

"Using me?" Brian scoffed. "It's okay Taylor, you couldn't use if you tried … you're not that good." Brian saw the hurt look on Justin's face and breathed out slowly, rolling his eyes, before adding, "not that you'd need to anyway. You're one of the best students in that class. You'll pass with or without that assignment."

"So why were you so angry before?"

"Because I was your lecturer before. Outside that room, I couldn't give a shit if you hand your work in on time and I don't care if you pass."

"So when we're outside that room, what are we?"

"Nothing," Brian answered simply. "Now, why don't you get back to that Ian boy. I'm sure he's missing you." And with that the door shut the rest of the way.

Brian pressed his forehead against the door and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Everything okay?" his new trick asked.

Brian turned around and looked at the man; short, dark hair, black jeans and a pinstripe shirt. He had a sophisticated business look and dark brown eyes. He wasn't really the kind of guy Brian fancied at the moment so he answered,

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"You're not naked."

* * *

Daphne was woken by the smell of fried eggs and sausages filling her flat. She could hear the hissing and spitting of frying bacon and the kettle heating up to make coffee. She pushed open the door and saw Justin slaving away over the stove.

"What the…?"

Justin span around and shot her his famous smile, before returning to the pots and pans.

"I'm cooking breakfast."

"I can see that."

"I used your pots, I didn't think you'd mind."

"No, it's fine," Daphne said. "Just, why are you cooking?"

"Thought I'd do something nice for Ethan."

"Justin," she warned. It wasn't fair of Justin to prey on Ethan's feelings like this. Ethan really, really liked Justin. Justin was all he talked about when he wasn't around and when he was around Ethan just became like a love struck teenage girl, giggling and trying to show off. He wanted Justin's attention and love but Daphne knew Justin couldn't give it to him whilst Brian was still in his life. But here he was, cooking breakfast after spending the night.

"Is it such a crime to do a nice thing?"

"No. But it _is _a crime to lead someone on when you like someone else."

"I'm not leading him on."

"You are! Why are you even doing this?"

"I …."

"Is it to make Brian jealous?"

"No," Justin lied but he knew he wasn't fooling Daphne. "Fine, yes. I just have to have him."

"And risk your education, your future, your friends?"

"He's worth it," Justin said determinedly.

"No one's worth that."

"_He _is."

"Whatever, just don't hurt Ethan."

"I won't. He's getting what he wants out of this anyway."

Daphne just shook her head in disbelief. She hadn't know Justin very long but she could believe he was capable of this kind of plotting and deception. Brian seemed to be having a horrible affect on him.

"End it," she hissed and they just stared defiantly at each other until the door opened and Ethan walked in. Suddenly, Justin flipped into doting, wonderful boyfriend material and started plating up the food and putting it on the table along with a mug of coffee and a glass of orange juice.

--

Justin kept this act up all the way to class. He asked Ethan to walk with him to the lecture and, of course, the violinist jumped at the chance. Daphne almost killed Justin when he drew Ethan in for a searing kiss just as Brian appeared. As soon as they drew apart Justin smirked at Brian, who was unlocking the door to the lecture theatre.

"I hope that face means you have your assignment for me, Taylor."

"You said it had to be in the end of the week. You said it wasn't important."

"I've changed my mind."

"You're such an asshole!" Justin shouted, everyone around them gasped but Brian just raised his eyebrow and Justin could see by the strained expression on his face that he was really enjoying himself. He could hear Ethan hissing in his ear, telling him to shut up. He could see Daphne shaking her head disapprovingly in the corner of his eye but his focus was on Brian, who was just staring back.

"If those are your feelings Taylor, perhaps your situation would be better if you looked into changing courses."

"Then you wouldn't be my lecturer anymore?" Justin asked trying not to sound too excited, did that mean he and Brian could be together? Brian just nodded and Justin was about to grin and run to change his major when Daphne stepped in.

"Don't do anything radical. This is your future, Justin. You don't want to throw it away over your personal feeling towards the lecturer."

"Your friend has a valid point, Taylor."

"Could I discuss this with you later?" Justin asked.

"After the lecture," Brian promised, opening the door up and allowing the class to file in.

--

It turned out changing classes wouldn't change their personal situation at all. Brian just said that if Justin wasn't in his lectures they wouldn't have to see each other again, which might be better for both of them.

"I didn't realise our former relations were such a problem for you," Justin had stated.

"There're not," Brian had replied. "But you seem angry and distracted in this class. And as your personal tutor I don't want to see you fail."

"You just want me out of your lesson because you don't like the fact that you want me."

Brian raised his eyebrows mockingly. "You think a lot of yourself, don't you Taylor?"

"I know I'm right. Well, I'm not leaving this lecture just to make things less awkward for you."

"Fine, then get the assignment and your reason for it's lateness in by the next time I see you or I really will fail you."

"Okay," Justin nodded and as he reached the door he turned back to say, "I was thinking, my reason for the piece being overdue … would extracurricular activities with my tutor be a good enough reason?"

Despite himself, Brian smirked.

"I thought you might approve," Justin smiled before leaving.

--

They were sat in the union. Daphne was chatting away about something that Justin knew he should probably be listening to but wasn't. He really had too much on his mind, like the way Brian had looked at him just before he'd left the lecture theatre and the way Ethan's hand kept brushing against his own. Ethan, it seemed, had no problem at all with sickeningly sweet levels of affection. He kept twirling Justin's hair or putting his head on his shoulder, constantly touching him for no reason other than he was there. Justin could feel Daphne glaring at him but it wasn't as though he was encouraging the actions, he just wasn't actively discouraging them, which was exactly what he said to Daphne when Ethan went to get a round of lemonade.

"I thought you decided to stop things with Ethan."

"No, you decided that. Anyway, I think you're right about Brian. I can't even concentrate because I'm obsessing over every smile and every sideways glance he gives me. So, I've come to a decision," he beamed.

"And?"

Just then Ethan returned and the two plunged into silence, not that Ethan noticed, he just cuddled up close to Justin and started talking about how rude the person behind the bar had been.

"That's your big decision?" Daphne scowled after Justin told her on the way back from the union.

"You don't approve?"

"Of course I don't approve. It's one of the stupidest things you've ever said."

"I thought you approved of mine and Brian's relationship."

"It's not a relationship and making things official with Ethan isn't going to make it so."

"That's the point. I need to forget about Brian before things get really messed up."

"Things already are really messed up, Justin. Ethan's not right for you, you know that."

"He's fine for me," Justin growled.

Daphne, of course, had been right. Ethan was okay, almost sweet in a way. He was constantly leaving Justin little presents and cards expressing his never ending love. He would show in everyway he could how much he loved Justin and the artist in him loved the romanticism. He liked being wined and dined and fussed over but somewhere deep inside him, he knew it wasn't enough.

Friday rolled around pretty quickly and Justin waited after the lecture to hand in his assignment. He almost choked on the immediate feedback Brian decided to dish out.

"You'll get bored of him."

Justin just stared in disbelief before saying very slowly and very deliberately, "not that it's any of your business, Ethan and I are very happy together."

"For how long?"

Justin's face screwed up into an angry scowl and Brian had to watch as Justin walked out of the class. He watched him join Daphne and that scruffy excuse for a man Ian or Ethan or whatever his goddamn name was; Brian really didn't care. He'd had a stressful week and had just wanted to relax this evening but now it looked like he was going to marking Taylor's goddamn assignment all afternoon so he submit it for official checking before seven. That way, Brian could throw away the excuse slip and Justin wouldn't lose any marks for it being late. He sighed and began to mark.

--

By the time Brian got home that evening, he was set to kill. Dean Vanguard had been on his case over some poppers that had gone missing from the confiscated items at reception. Brian wasn't about to apologize for taking them, they'd have only been trashed otherwise and he wasn't the kind of man to let good drugs go to waste. He opened a beer and downed the lot before deciding he needed to go out. He rang Michael, Ted and Emmet but they all had to be up early for work the next morning. Working on a Saturday, how … pathetic. It was times like this that Brian knew he'd made the right career choice. The only problem was he couldn't go out alone, not him, Brian Kinney. He liked an audience to see him pulling the hottest guys in the Pitts. Unless … well, he could go to the baths. In fact, that was exactly what he needed tonight, a quick fuck with no obligation to the other person. He pulled on his jacket and went out.

--

The baths always disgusted him, not that it ever stopped him from going back. It was full of trolls and men who simply wouldn't get laid in the real world but this wasn't the real world, this was the underhand world where love and attraction had nothing to do with anything, it was purely about shooting your load and moving on. Even for the baths, the crowd was poor tonight. Brian couldn't find anyone even remotely attractive. He was thinking of trying somewhere else when he spotted him, a twink in the corner of the room, he was sucking off some average guy that maybe blind drunkenness could make attractive but Brian could tell by the look on the man's face he was punching above his wait with this trick.

As the twink stood up, Brian made his way over and put his hand out on the slender, pale shoulder. Bringing their bodies together, he whispered in the twink's ear,

"How about you let me do something for you now?"

Brian felt the twink grin and he took a step back so the other man could turn around. And as the face was revealed, he snorted with laughter.

"Well, well, well …. I did not expect you here … Taylor."

* * *

**Please Review!? ... xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Dedicated to Itzy68 for being so unfortunately incapacitated at the moment and for being so nice as to review!! =D**

* * *

"So," Brian asked, still unable to wipe the smug grin off his face, "does Ian know you're here?" He looked around as though expecting to see Ethan appear from somewhere. As if that monogamous, romanticist would be caught dead in somewhere as sleazy as the baths. Justin just squirmed embarrassedly.

"Didn't think so. So, what? Trouble in paradise?"

"I'm sure paradise is just fine," Justin scowled.

"But you wouldn't know because you've never been there."

"Not with Ethan but I have been … twice," he grinned and stepped forward, touching Brian's shoulder. Brian looked down at the contact as though checking it were really there. Then, Justin stepped forward and crushed their mouths together in the most passionate of kisses. Brian gave in and kissed back fighting for dominance and gaining it until eventually he'd had enough and he pushed Justin away. The kid just smiled and began attacking Brian's shoulder and neck like a hungry puppy. Brian let him continue for a while before putting a hand roughly in his hair and putting his lips to Justin's ears.

"Sorry," he said, "I'm not a home wrecker." And with that, he walked away, leaving Justin yearning for more.

Justin left the baths almost immediately. His brain was spinning faster than ever before. He couldn't concentrate. He couldn't think properly. He walked as fast as he could, his feet moving one step in front of the other with no conscious control from him. It was as though he were on autopilot like this was a predetermined location. He ended up at Ethan and Daphne's flat. He knocked on the door and Daphne answered.

"Where've you been?" she asked.

"Hell," Justin muttered.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really, is Ethan in?"

"Of course. Can't you hear him?"

Justin listened and could hear the screeches of violin music filling the flat. He nodded and smiled a little. "So, let me in?"

Daphne just stepped aside and Justin walked into the flat, straight into Daphne's room and flopped dramatically onto her bed.

"Aren't you here to see Ethan?"

"Later," he frowned.

"Okay," she sighed, falling onto the bed next to him, "what's happened?"

"I've seen Brian."

"Course you have. And what did he have to say for himself?"

Justin lifted his head of the mattress and looked at Daphne a strangled expression on his face.

"Shit," Daphne breathed. "How bad was it? What did he say?"

"It's not what he said … it's where I saw him."

"Justin, what are you talking about?"

Justin sighed and allowed his neck to go weak and his head to fall against the mattress.

"Well?" she encouraged. Justin sighed and began to explain about the meeting at the baths. Daphne had been less than impressed. She'd just asked 'what the hell were you doing there' over and over until Justin had shouted at her to shut her up. Daphne held up her hands in surrender before suggesting they talk about something else.

Justin woke up with Ethan the next morning and shut his eyes as he readied himself for yet another day of feigning happy families.

Justin walked to his lecture, Ethan's fingers entwined tightly in his. He was hoping Ethan wouldn't mention the fact his palm's were sweaty and he was trembling when Brian rounded the corner. The lecturer spotted them together and raised a bemused eyebrow.

"Afternoon Taylor and…"

"Ethan," Ethan smiled, "Ethan Gold."

"Are you in my class Mr Gold?"

"Erm, no sir. I'm just walking my boyfriend."

"Would you have got lost without the extra help?" Brian asked Justin politely. "Maybe you'd have accidentally stumbled into the baths."

"Fuck off," Justin scowled.

"Justin!" Ethan gasped.

"Now, now Taylor," Brian smiled, "where are you manners? You say 'fuck off please'."

Justin narrowed his eyes and shook his head a little. He was pretty sure he'd never understand Brian Kinney but as long as the older man kept looking like that he wasn't sure he'd ever need to or even want to.

It had been almost three weeks since Justin had seen Brian at the baths and although it had been as difficult as kicking an addiction he was finally able to get through an entire Saturday without daydreaming about Brian. At night, it was a different story. At night, Brian invaded every fibre of his being and in the lectures, he still sat drooling but it _was_ getting easier … a bit.

Ethan was a decent distraction. He always had so many little romantic outings planned, trips to the country, picnics in the park. One on one Violin recitals in his bedroom but none of it was right. None of it was what Justin really wanted. Brian had been right, he was getting bored with romantic perfection.

He went to Babylon every now and again to try and inject some excitement into his life but it was so hard to stay monogamous to Ethan when they were all these gorgeous men, flirting with him and buying him drinks. And then there was Brian. He'd spotted him every time he'd gone, usually he was fucking half the dance floor with a single look before picking out the one for that evening and dragging them off to the backroom or the toilets or the alley at the back of the clubs or sometimes just right there in the middle of the dance floor. Justin couldn't watch, knowing he could never feel that again. It burnt to much.

Justin watched Brian strolling around the seminar group. He'd worn a sleeveless shirt and had told the six members of his class not to tell the Dean as it would be deemed unprofessional but Justin hadn't really heard anything else he'd just watched the muscles in his arms and shoulders rippling as he'd spoken about … whatever it was he'd spoken about. As the lesson came to an end, Brian asked if Justin could wait to discuss his assignment.

Justin's heart skipped a beat. He wondered what Brian wanted. Justin's assignment used to be an excuse to get Justin on his own, out of earshot of his class mates. So as the door shut he asked,

"Problem Brian?" And tried not to squeak or choke the words as he desperately stopped himself from ripping Brian's shirt off right there.

"Not at all. You've done incredibly well," he said, handing over the assignment folder. "You were the only person in that seminar group to pass with a grade high enough for my standards."

Justin leafed through the notes and mark scheme.

"Wait, I haven't lost any marks for it being late."

Brian said nothing.

"Did you…?"

Again nothing.

"Wow. Thanks," Justin smiled, putting the folder in his bag. "Was, er, was that it?"

"Yeah. Unless, there's any other work related discussion we need to have."

Justin just shook his head and went to leave.

"So am I not even going to get a proper explanation as to why you were at the baths?" Brian asked calmly. Justin span round to find Brian still pouring over sheets and sheets of important looking papers. If Justin didn't know any better he'd assume he'd imagined Brian's question.

"Do you care?"

"I asked, didn't I?"

"You were right, okay?"

"Ahh, my three favourite words … after, of course, nine inches cut."

"Of course," smiled Justin, moving slowly back into the room.

"So what was I right about?"

"Ethan?"

"The boring boyfriend," Brian translated smugly, a subtle smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah," sighed Justin, sitting in the chair opposite Brian. "He won't leave me alone. He wants us to go everywhere together and be in all the same places. He won't leave my side."

Brian just laughed, "relationships, more trouble than they're worth. That's why I don't do them."

"Ever?"

"There was one guy, once but I was young and naïve … so was he. I think I only felt that way coz he was the only other gay guy in knew and … I was desperate to fuck something."

"Some things never change."

"Hmm, well … I never really fucked him and I never really loved him so…. It turned out to be nothing more than the platonic love of a best friend. A brother."

"Are you talking about Michael?"

"You're a clever little shit, aren't you?"

"I've got a good teacher." Brian smiled a little but just about managed to quash it before it turned into a full-blown grin. "So, if you're not looking for a relationship, what _are_ you looking for?" Justin asked.

"What every honest to god gay man is looking for, a great fuck with a hot guy."

"Looks like we have something in common," Justin smiled.

"Looks like we do."

--

Justin and Brian flopped back into the cushions together and chuckled a little, happy in their moment of post-coital bliss where nothing and no one else mattered and it was just them. But as always, the false perfection was broken. Justin's phone hummed a strange melody into the air and he reached over lazily to pick it up. He slid it open and was about to read it when he felt the phone being plucked from his fingers. He rolled onto his side as he watched Brian open the message and smirk with disapproval as he read the text aloud.

"_Come home soon. I miss you. All my love. E. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss _… Hang on, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen kisses … God that's pathetic."

"Shut up," Justin said, snatching the phone back and staring at the words as he tried to come up with a reply. He thought in silence for a moment or two, drafting and redrafting a text. What is the perfect thing to say to the boy you're dating who you don't even like that much whilst in bed with the man you love? _Hello, Ethan … _no, too formal. _Yo, _… no, too like a ten year old in the 90's. _Ethan, I'll be home soon. Stop worrying xx …_ that would do.

"So, you gonna end things with him?"

"No," sighed Justin, pressing the send button and watching the send bar fill up with green as the phone confirmed his message had been delivered."So you're gonna keep stringing him along?" Brian asked, leaning over to pull a cigarette from packet on the bedside table.

Justin looked up as Brian settled back into his cushions and lit up.

"Why?" he frowned, "do you give a shit?"

Brian just took a particularly long drag of his cigarette and said nothing.

"Oh my god, you do," Justin beamed. "You give a shit."

"Shut the fuck up," Brian snapped, before returning to his smoke as though the outburst hadn't happened.

Justin just smiled, trying to think of something else to stop him from grinning too widely. He shifted closer to Brian and put his head on his shoulder. Brian didn't stop him. Justin plucked the cigarette from between Brian's teeth and took a drag himself before replacing it. He breathed the smoke out very slowly, savouring the taste.

"I don't love him, you know," he said, after a while. "I just … if people think he and I are together then no one will suspect us of being together."

"We're not together," Brian answered almost immediately. It was a knee jerk reaction, Justin knew that. He also knew that Brian was still convincing himself that Justin was no different to any other trick but Justin knew the truth. He knew he was the guy, the only guy, that Brian fucked more than once. But it wasn't worth annoying him with these facts so he just played Brian's games ... because that made him happy.

"I know," Justin nodded, his hair tickling Brian's neck. "We're just … fucking."

He pressed a kiss against the closest part of bare skin and looked up. Brian looked funny from this angle, all jaw and nose but he was still beautiful. Justin didn't ever want to leave. He just wanted to stay, cuddled up against Brian's chest forever. Sooner or later, Brian would move to get up. He'd tell Justin to get moving so they wouldn't arrive at college at the same time and then he'd rush to the shower expecting Justin to be gone by the time he came out but none of that mattered right now. All that mattered was this, holding Brian and being with Brian and loving Brian.

* * *

Justin's visits to Brian's loft began to become a more regular thing but Justin didn't tell anyone where he was going; not even Daphne. He disguised it instead as a extra class he'd taken on. It wasn't entirely a lie. Brian _had_ helped with some of his work now and again, when he was really stuck and his work time was taking away from their fucking time.

Strangely, it was Chris Hobbs that Justin found it most difficult to lie to. Chris knew that Justin was hardly spending any nights in his own bed anymore and Justin couldn't even use Ethan as an excuse because he knew how Chris felt about fags. Instead, he claimed he was going out to the clubs and just happened to be getting lucky every single night. Chris seemed to think he'd found some kind of God of women and just kept pestering Justin to take him with him next time he went out, so he too could get in on the hot chick action.

Brian looked at his clock. He wasn't counting down the minutes until Justin would arrive he just wondered when it would be, that was all. He was usually here by now and Brian had had a brilliant idea involving ice-cream that he wanted to try. He couldn't believe it had become such a regular thing with this kid. He wasn't even sure how it had happened or how it had kept happening. He told himself every time that it was the last time and yet they were still doing it, hiding, lying, sneaking behind everyone's backs. Maybe that was why, maybe it was the thrill of forbidden fucking that made it so fun and desirable … it had to be that. There was no other reason Brian could think of.

Eventually, there was an undignified hammering at his door that could only be caused by Justin. Brian got to his feet and strolled casually over and slid it open. Justin almost fell through the door and Brian slid it shut behind him.

"Been running?" Brian asked, as the kid, sweating and panting kicked off his shoes and unzipped his jumper, throwing it to the floor.

"Yeah," he grinned, attacking Brian's lips with his own. "I thought I was being followed but I threw them off."

Brian pushed the kid to arm's length.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. Now … fuck me. Please," he pleaded. "I want you inside me."

Brian couldn't say no to begging like that and within seconds they were on the floor naked. At that moment, there was a knock at the door and Brian groaned loudly as he dragged himself to his feet, instructing Justin to not.

"Are you sure you weren't followed?" Brian demanded, as he put his hand on the door.

"Yeah. Quick get rid of them."

Brian slid the door open a fraction, so that he could pop his head out whilst hiding the rest of the flat from view. Outside his door was a boy he didn't recognise. He guessed he was probably in college, at least he looked about nineteen. His mouth hung open a little, giving him a somewhat stupid appearance but he wasn't altogether ugly. Maybe he'd see if Justin wanted a threeway.

"Who the fuck are you?" the kid demanded … or maybe not.

"Isn't that _my _line," Brian asked, "seeing as you knocked on _my _door.?

"My names Chris." Justin's heart sank and he shook his head furiously, hoping Brian would notice. "Is Justin here?"

Brian turned to see Justin's panicked face and asked, "who?"

"Justin Taylor. He's my flatmate. He's got some secret fox somewhere, apparently she's really hot, proper huge tits."

"Really?" Smirked Brian. "Well, I'm not a … what was it, a hot fox with huge tits? And I live here so…."

"But I swear I saw him come in here. Wait … you haven't got any clothes on."

"Wow, you're smart. You really are in college."

"Oh my god," Chris said, a hideous sneer taking over his features. "He's a fucking queer."

"Who is?" Brian asked, though he had a suspicion playing dumb might not work anymore.

"Taylor. He's in here," Chris announced pushed the door open. He groaned as the sights of the room hit him, Brian stood wearing nothing at all and Justin running to the bedroom to try and hide.

"Urgh. You're gonna die Taylor," he shouted. "And you are," he addressed Brian, "all queers get aids and die in the end."

Next second Chris found himself slammed against the wall. Brian's fist bunching his shirt as he held him tight.

"What was that?" Brian asked.

"Nothing," Chris gasped out.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you."

"Nothing," he repeated a little louder.

"I thought not," he let him go and Chris ran out of the loft and down the stairs shouting, "I'll get you for this. Both of you."

Brian managed to reassure Justin there would be any problems as far as Chris was concerned. He was fairly sure Chris wouldn't know Brian was a lecturer so they couldn't get in trouble.

"But I live with him. He's gonna kick the shit out of me when I next see him."

"That's … not my problem."

"But it's your fault, if you'd got rid of him, he'd never have seen me."

"He followed you to my flat," Brian pointed out.

"But…"

"You can stay for one night," Brian sighed, "but tomorrow, you find another arraignment."

That had been two weeks ago and still Justin was living with him, using his shower, eating his food, sleeping in his bed and even sharing his tricks.

Lectures seemed like a waste now. Justin was pretty sure he couldn't learn a thing with Brian teaching him. He'd spend all day with Daphne and Ethan pretending he was in love and monogamous. He'd avoid Chris like elephants avoid mice, before going back to Brian's at night and fucking his brains out all night. It was everything he wanted but he wasn't truly happy. He wanted to be able to dance in Babylon with Brian, to hand out at Woody's together and not to have pretend they hardly know each other all the time. He wanted to get rid of Ethan but that wasn't an option either. He needed people to believe he was in a happy relationship. There'd been too many close calls already, a quickie in the stationary cupboard, blowjobs in the toilets and Brian's office. They couldn't help themselves, when they were together something animal took over and they just had to fulfil their instincts.

Justin was attempting to take notes when it happened. There was a knock at the lecture theatre door and Dean Vance walked in, red-faced and angry as hell.

"Kinney, can I see you in my office?"

"Let me just finish this…."

"NOW!"

Brian nodded slowly and excused himself from the class.

"What was that about?" Daphne hissed in Justin's ear. The boy just shrugged. Brian hadn't mentioned anything to him but he didn't seem too bothered. It was probably nothing.

"Kinney," Vance began slowly. "You're a good lecturer…"

"The best."

"… and god knows I've allowed you liberties that some members of the faculty just don't have."

"Liberties?"

"I deter rumours of your recreational drug usage, I guide people away from discovering your infamous promiscuity and I go out of my way to defend you to the conservative parents, who don't want their kids being taught by a …." he trailed off.

"A what?" Brian demanded, "a queer? A fag?"

"Well…" Vance nodded slightly.

"Who I fuck," Brian said stonily, "is none of their business … or yours."

"Well, that's where you're wrong, Kinney. It's very much my business when the person you're fucking is a student; Justin Taylor."

Brian just raised an eyebrow. "Where do you get this information?" he scorned, "some kid who doesn't like the fact I failed his assignment? Or maybe a faculty member who doesn't like my salary?" Or Chris fucking Hobbs? Damn, he knew he should have been more careful.

"The source of the information is not important."

"Of course it is! This is slander, I could have this guy sued. I will have him sued. Was the tip off anonymous?"

"Not exactly but I wouldn't feel comfortable relaying that information."

"Well, then get comfortable, if someone is out to ruin my career, I wanna know who it is."

"I can't tell you. All I can tell you is that they saw you in Babylon together."

Babylon? Maybe it wasn't Chris then but still, seeing someone in Babylon isn't reason to assume they're fucking. After all,

"Babylon is the biggest gay night club in Pittsburgh … the _only _gay night club in Pittsburgh! I see Justin there all the time. I also see that twink Adam Beverly from Meryl's class and that football jock Peter Dutton, are you gonna accuse me of improper relations with them too?"

"The tip off didn't mention those students."

"Mmmm, so what? If I see one of my students outside the lecture theatre I'm supposed to … what? Ignore them? I thought we lived in a free country, meaning I can talk to whoever I want. Now, if you're done wasting my time, I have a class to teach.""No, no, no. You're suspended until further notice."

"WHAT!?"

"Collect your things Kinney. You're going home."

"What the…?"

"Oh and send Taylor to my office please, I need to hear what he has to say."

"Of course, just … one thing."

"What?"

"Who gave you the information, was in Professor Bob Holkin, he's been trying to get me to fuck him for years. Is this his revenge?"

"No."

"Meryl?"

"No."

"_Who_ then?"

"A Mr Novotny, now get out of my office."

"Wait. Novotny?"

"Yes … someone you know?"

"Yeah, sort of. He's been waiting his life entire to fuck me … looks like he just done it."

* * *

**Review please?? ... xx**


	8. Chapter 8

"So what did the dean say?"

"Just asked if I felt that any of Brian's actions towards me have been inappropriate."

"And you said?"

"No, obviously. I said that Brian had never done anything inappropriate."

"So it's sorted then, nothing to worry about."

Justin didn't move.

"Justin, what happened, you look pale as a sheet."

"They suspended me."

"What, why?"

"Well, apparently they have some 'evidence' that needs to be examined and then, depending on the college boards decision, I may or may not be allowed to return."

"But … but that's so wrong. What evidence do they have?"

"I don't … I mean I…." Justin trailed off helplessly. He had no idea what he was trying to say or even if he was trying to say anything at all. "I need to see Brian," he decided.

"Do you _really _think that's a good idea? People are going to be on the lookout now. You have to lie low for a while."

"But he'll know what to do," Justin insisted.

"So do I. Leave it alone and give it up. I can't even believe it was still going on. Why don't you just stick with Ethan?"

"Daphne," Justin laughed, in a way that said 'don't be daft'.

"But there are hundreds of amazing guys out there Justin, why can't you just give them a chance?"

"Because I want Brian. I'd virtually moved in over there and now this has happened."

"Well, even if this does sort itself out, you need to be more careful."

--

"_You have twelve new messages. First, new message, received today at 8:32 am: _Hi Brian, it's me. Didn't see you at Woody's last night, is everything okay? Call m- _message deleted_. _Next, new message, received today at 8:34 am: _That last call was off Micha- _message deleted_. _Next, new message, received today at 9:24am: _Briaaaaaan, it's Michael. Is everything okay? Haven't heard from you all morning. I just want you to know I'm at the store n- _message deleted. Message received today at 10:34am: _Brian … call me. I'm getting worrie- _message deleted. Message received today at 11.01am: _Brian it's - _message deleted. Message received today at 11.15am: _Hi. The stores a bit qu-_ message deleted. Message received tod- message deleted. Message deleted. Message deleted … you have no new messages._"

"Give it five minutes," Brian replied angrily. Then he wanted to slap himself because he'd actually just engaged in a conversation with the fucking voicemail woman.

He sighed heavily and slumped into his sofa, still glaring at the phone with an intent dislike. It would ring any second, it had been twenty-five minutes since the last call and there was no way Michael would wait a whole half hour before pestering him to see if he was okay.

Right on cue, the phone began to ring. Brian heaved himself up and picked up the receiver.

"Fuck off," he said politely before hanging up and lying back down. He waited a total of thirty-five seconds before it rang again. Well, he wasn't answering this time, he couldn't have made it any clearer than that. If Michael wanted to spend the rest of his life talking to Brian's voicemail, that was his own decision.

"_You have reached voice mail._" Brian sighed, he was getting sick of that smug woman's perfectly pronounced English. "_Please leave a message after the tone." _The beep sounded and Michael's whiney, pleading voice filled the room.

"Brian, I know you're there. Pick up. I heard you've been suspended from lecturing and I…" Brian picked up the receiver and replaced it again. The voice cut out. If the phone rang again, he vowed he would pull the contraption from it's socket and throw it out of the goddamn window.

He couldn't believe Michael would betray him like that. He knew Michael loved him. He'd known it forever, he'd known it ever since he knew what being gay meant but he'd never expected him to be so petty and pathetic as to risk Brian's entire career just because he was jealous.

He knew Michael would be over later, trying to explain his side of the story and Brian knew he had to calm down before then. He needed to play that imminent conversation perfectly, just enough anger with just enough sexiness and love and it would be perfect but he wasn't ready to do it yet. If he saw Michael now he'd rip his goddamn head off and spit it in the trash. He needed to get all this tension and anger out of his system. He needed to fuck. He needed the baths.

--

"So the prom-thing's coming up," Ethan said, running his hand through Justin's sweaty hair that was resting on his abdomen as they curled up in bed together.

"It's not a prom it's just a money-making farce," Justin sighed. "Get all the students to the grimiest club in Pittsburgh and make lots of money off the prevalent, alcoholic, drinking-culture that's built up amongst America's teens."

"So you're not going then?"

"No, I'm going."

"It should be good," Ethan smiled, his hand stopping in Justin's hair, "Cyndi Lauper's meant to be playing."

"Cool," Justin breathed out contentedly, and moved his hand on to Ethan's, encouraging him to resume his hair-stroking. However much he wished he was with Brian at this moment, he still loved having his hair fingered and fondled.

"I never really liked her," Ethan sighed, doing what Justin asked; didn't he always?

"Because she's not Mozart?"

"No, because she's not very contemporary and her songs have no meaning."

"Mmm," Justin hummed. "You're just a music snob."

"I'm not a music snob," Ethan protested with a chuckle. They were surrounded by a comfortable silence for a while. Justin aloud the peacefulness to engulf him, he didn't get this with Brian. Then, of course, Ethan ruined it by saying; "So … you gonna go to the ball with me?"

Justin craned his neck so he could look at Ethan, who was smiling nervously back, his dark eyes terrified of rejection even after months of dating. Justin felt a pang of guilt, Ethan was _supposed _to be his boyfriend, he knew how badly he'd treated him but it was only at moments like these that he actually thought about it.

"Of course we're going together," Justin sighed and Ethan beamed back at him and leant over to kiss him eagerly.

As they pulled apart, Justin's phone rumbled somewhere on the table and Justin leapt out of bed to read his text. One new message from Brian Mob; '_come over as soon as you can - got good news, wanna celebrate?_' Justin beamed as he read it.

"Something good happened?" Ethan asked from the bed as he watched his boyfriend's face light up in a way he'd never seen before.

"I think so," Justin nodded as he tapped in his reply, '_b right there xxx_'. "I've gotta go."

"You've always gotta go," Ethan sulked. "I feel like you never just wanna stay with me and hang out."

"You know that's not true," Justin lied, pulling on his t-shirt and kissing Ethan on the temple. "I'd love to spend more time with you but this is important."

"It's always important," Ethan complained, as he located Justin's jeans and through them at him, half helpfully and half in anger.

"Yeah," Justin said firmly, pulling on his pants, "it is."

And with that he pressed a kiss onto Ethan's forehead and left.

--

The door was open when he arrived at Brian's. Justin called tentatively, he didn't really want to disturb Brian in the middle of whatever (or whoever) he was doing but Justin needn't have worried. Brian was just in the bedroom trying on ties, when he called Justin in.

"What are you doing?" Justin asked.

"Which goes better?" Brian asked. "This one," he held up a charcoal coloured tie against his black shirt, "or this one," he held another charcoal tie up against his black shirt.

"They look exactly the same," Justin smiled.

"Call yourself a gay man?" Brian asked. "This one," he threw the first one at Justin, who caught it deftly, "is Armani. But this one," he began to place the second tie around his neck, "is Gucci. There's a huge difference."

"Yeah, if you're a label queen."

"Which … I am," Brian smiled, turning to face Justin in his suit. "So, how do I look?"

"Hot," Justin smiled. "What's the occasion?"

"A certain middle-aged, bald Englishman is going to offer me my job back tomorrow."

"Dean Vance?"

"No, Debbie from the diner. Of course Vance," Brian scorned.

"How did that happen?"

"It seems the man who made up the vicious rumours about yours and my extra-curricular activities, has retracted the statement after he realised it would cost him the love of his life."

"Huh?" Justin asked.

"It's not important," Brian shook his head before plucking his other tie from Justin's fingers placing it around the kid's neck and pulling him in close. "What is important is that tomorrow, I will be allowed to continue to change the world one bratty, stuck-up, rich-kid at a time and you can continue to learn about … whatever it is you take from my lessons." He leant in and kissed Justin gently. "So," he said when he eventually drew his lips away, "fancy celebrating?"

--

Brian was taking a piss and Justin was attempting to draw himself in a tux.

"What's that?" Brian asked, as he flopped down next to Justin, cigarette hanging between his lips.

"It's just a …."

"Is that you?"

"Well …"

"In a suit?"

"I, er, yeah."

"Why?"

"I'm trying to imagine what I'll look like at this ball, prom-thing thing."

"Ah yes. That shit," he lit the cigarette, and offered it to Justin, who refused. "Where's it being held?"

"I don't know, some fucking breeders bar in town."

Brian nodded softly and took a long drag from his cig. "You going with Ian?"

"Yeah," Justin sighed. "Wish I wasn't though. I'd rather go with you."

"That wouldn't help our 'we're not fucking' claim," Brian smiled.

"But it _would _be the best 'fuck you' ever."

"Worth sacrificing your entire future for?"

Justin looked at Brian carefully and then whispered, "sometimes I think it is."

Brian just stared back, the intensity of the moment was crushing him and he didn't know how to react so he spoke the truth, "you're pathetic," before drawing the kid into a searing kiss.

--

"Is that what you're wearing?" Brian asked, as Justin twirled in front of the mirror.

"Yeah," he answered indignantly. "What's wrong with it?"

"I haven't got that long," Brian answered, he just walked over and un-tucked Justin's shirt a bit, then he pulled the trouser legs a bit so that they appeared slightly longer. He tidied the jacket up and removed Justin's tie.

"We have to wear ties," the kid protested. Brian just flapped a hand at him to get him to shut up before pulling the discarded Armani tie from last week from his wardrobe and putting it around Justin's neck. He tied it for him and they stared into each other's eyes before kissing softly. Then Brian moved out the way and held Justin in front of the mirror, wrapping his arms around him from behind and resting his chin on Justin's shoulder.

"You look hot," Brian grinned and Justin beamed back at the older man's reflection. They stayed like that for a moment and Justin almost felt like he was getting a glimpse of what things could be like in a parallel universe where he was and art student and Brian was a … fucking advertising executive or something.

"I wish I could go with you," he sighed.

"Well you can't," Brian said cooly, pulling himself away from the kid and going to the bathroom. He stopped as he reached the door and turned to smile a bit. "But I will be there."

Justin's neck snapped round to face his lover. "You will?"

"I'm chaperoning."

"You are?"

"Vance made me as part of my making a better name for myself."

Justin just cocked an eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak but Brian just took the opportunity to kiss him deeply. "Now, go to Daphne's. I'll see you later."

--

Daphne had some kind of weird roller contraption in her hair, which Justin couldn't understand. Wasn't her hair already curly? The answer was yes it was but it was the wrong kind of curly. Justin just rolled his eyes and flopped down on a seat in the kitchen. He was glad he was gay, girls were so weird.

"You're pathetic," he muttered as she rushed around making a drink, claiming her throat was dry because she was so nervous and excited and happy and animated. It was like she couldn't keep still but she did stop when Justin had said that.

"What?" he asked, noting her semi-bemused, semi-concenred expression.

"Nothing. You just …."

"What?"

"You're starting to sound like him now."

Justin just pulled a face and turned his attention to the somewhat sticky table. He traced his fingers over the strangely bumpy surface of the table waiting for company. Every now and then Daphne would walk in with a different piece of jewellery or a different pair of shoes to get his opinion, not that he was being very helpful. He just kept shrugging and being non-committal with things like 'fine' and 'yeah'. She told him he was being a miserable dick, not that she needed to, he already knew that. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't get excited about a college ball with a bunch of breeders, who'd probably judge him for taking Ethan and would laugh if they tried to dance together … not that he'd want to dance with Ethan of course. He'd want to dance with Brian but he knew Brian would just be slumped in a corner or propping up a bar.

"Hey! You're here," Ethan smiled as he came into the kitchen and pressed a kiss to Justin's lips. "You look hot."

"Mmm, you too," Justin agreed and Ethan _did _look hot. He'd have been enough for Justin to take a second look but he wouldn't have changed direction to go after him. Ethan was beaming as he started to tell him about a new piece he was working on for an upcoming concert. He was saying things like, "this is the best I've ever played" and "you're my muse Justin" and Justin was starting to feel those pangs of guilt twitching in his gut. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He would never have done anything like this before he went to college. He'd believed in love and romance and monogamy and then he'd met Brian and all his morals had disappeared and now, here he was, willing to do absolutely anything to be with Brian, even hurt his friend … his boyfriend.

They chatted a while as they waited for Daphne and when she arrived they complimented her on her dress. It was orange and a shade of red, like the sunset. She had a tiara and diamante's through her hair, on her jewellery and scattered across her dress.

"Ready to go?" she grinned and the two boys nodded dumbly. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you guys were turning straight," she giggled.

--

Justin allowed Ethan to hold his hand as they entered the club. He could still feel something digging in his gut and he felt worse than ever about what he was doing to Ethan. Maybe it _was _time to stop it. He was sure he could find a way to be gentle if he _really _concentrated. Or maybe blunt would be better, stop all hopes of anything happening. He sighed and wriggled his fingers from Ethan's hand. The self-confessed musical genius looked confused for a moment but Justin just whispered something about getting a drink from the bar.

Justin spotted him almost straight away but even if he hadn't the shout of, "Taylor!" would have alerted him to his lecturer's presence at the end of the bar.

"C'mere," Brian slurred, gesturing Justin towards him.

"You're drunk," Justin pointed out dimly.

"Little bit," Brian said and then barked a weird kind of laughter, before pulling Justin really close and whispering in his ear "and high." Then he pushed him away roughly and laughed again. "Can't let Vance see us talking, he'll think we're fucking."

"Mmm," Justin nodded. He was a little confused. Brian looked as though he could pass out any second as he demanded another drink.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Justin asked.

"No," Brian answered, smiling seductively at the man behind the bar. "You can never have enough." There was no mistaking the flirting and the barman didn't disappoint, telling Brian that the beer was on the house.

"Excellent," Brian said loudly. "If you were in my lesson, I'd give you top grades." The barman blushed and walked off. Brian lifted his beer in Justin's direction and then took a long gulp, slamming the half full bottle on the bar he let out a self-satisfied 'ahhh' noise and slumped uselessly against the bar.

"How much have you had?" Justin asked, after ordering the drinks for himself, Daphne and Ethan.

"Enough to get me through this shit hetero-hop for fucking eighteen year olds."

Justin leaned in close and whispered, "I thought you liked fucking eighteen year olds."

Brian barked the weirdest, high-pitched laughter and downed the rest of his drink.

"I think you should stop now," Justin winced as Brian allowed his head to fall on to his arms that were crossed ahead of him on the bar.

"I think _you _should get back to your little wifey and … I'll be fine," Brian said, ordering another drink. Justin watched as a different barman nervously refused to serve him and watched as Brian queened out about it. Saying ridiculous clichéd statements that only sound good when you're wasted out of your mind like, "do you fucking know who I am?"

The barman, it seemed, either didn't know or didn't care who he was and Brian had to content himself with nothing more than water or the remainder of the ball. Despite the efforts of the barman who fancied him to slip the lecturer something stronger.

Justin went back to Ethan and Daphne. They danced, they jumped up and down to all the best Cyndi Lauper songs. They had fun, lots of fun. Justin was actually beginning to really enjoy himself until he saw Brian being as good as dragged from the premises by two of the other lecturers. He was struggling to stand up straight but Justin heard him claim he was going to drive home as he searched his pockets for his keys. Daphne heard it too, so she wasn't at all surprised when Justin excused himself and made in the direction of the toilets only to veer away at the last second and head for the car park.

Brian was on his third attempt at getting the key into the lock of his car when Justin found him. He kept pushing the jagged metal teeth blindly against the plastic handle.

"FUCK!" he yelled eventually, frustrated at his own inabilities he threw the keys away from him. They clattered noisily at Justin's feet and he stooped to pick them up.

"You dropped these," he grinned as he watched Brian fumble about with a cigarette and lighter. He'd obviously rehearsed this many times whilst drunk because he did it with maximum precision.

"Mmm," he mumbled around his cig. "Give them back."

"I don't think you should be driving in your condition."

"What are you … the fucking cops?"

"No, but I don't want you to kill yourself … or someone else," Justin sighed, placing the keys in his pocket and strolling away. Brian was on him in seconds, dragging him close and pinning him to his chest with his one arm, whilst his other hand carelessly fished about in Justin's pockets. From not far away, the display was watched with disgust …

"Brian," Justin moaned, though he was giggling a bit as he wriggled out of the vice-like hold and stepped away. "Stop!" He demanded, "I'll bring them around tomorrow."

Brian glared at him but even his alcohol addled mind could see that Justin wasn't going to back down so he shrugged and took a few staggering steps backwards.

"Fine," he said. "But you better bring them round first thing young man. First thing."

Justin just nodded a little. He knew he'd have to take them around first thing because he had a strong suspicion that Brian wouldn't remember this in the morning and would wonder what the hell had happened to his beloved jeep. Justin couldn't help grinning as he walked away, despite his drunken, drugged-up ways, spending any time with Brian Kinney made him leave with a smile on his face.

Then he heard a shout. The tone was so strange, so fearful, so primal that Justin felt it in his gut more than heard it. He turned around and watched as a fist connected with his face. He hit the cold tarmac immediately and had just about registered the pain when he felt a shoe connect with his ribs, then his head, his legs. Pain tore through him, pounding in various parts of his body. He felt like he was dying. He curled up and protected his head but he could still feel every kick and every stamp. He actually began to wonder if he was going to die. Would this pain, this constant stabbing pain ever end? Then one final white hot attack to his head and everything went blank....

* * *

**DUN, DUN DUH!!!  
lol - couldn't resist ... because i'm evil! =D  
xx**


	9. Chapter 9

Brian had sobered up the second the first punch had been thrown. Well, he'd sobered up enough to run in a straight line, hurl abuse and throw a punch, okay several punches, in the direction of Justin's attacker. He'd recognised him of course. It was that boy who'd turned up to his flat a few weeks ago, the one who'd threatened them. Brian realised now that'd he'd been fatally naïve to ignore the warnings as he left Chris Hobbs rolling around on the floor screaming like a fucking faggot.

He ran to Justin's side and pulled the blonde twink into in his arms. There was sweat or anger or something that definitely wasn't tears blurring his vision as he saw the purple and blue bruises starting to appear across his face. The blood that was pouring from the gashes to his face. Brian screamed at people nearby to call an ambulance and cradled the kid in his arms. He was too drunk to realised the ramifications of his actions, or maybe he just didn't care whether or not Vance saw him kissing the injured student on the forehead or rocking him back and forth or begging him to open his goddamn eyes and be okay. People were gathering round but he ignored them. They weren't important. Nothing was. It was all about Justin and Brian just kept repeating one word over and over again … "Please."

It was whispered like a prayer as he used his sleeve to wipe the blood from Justin's split lip and the cut near his right eye.

"Please," he begged.

Brian could hear the gossiping students. He could hear Vance losing his temper. He could hear Chris Hobbs telling a warped version of the truth to anyone who would listen but he didn't care because at that moment, Justin's eyes fluttered open and a feeling of weakness flooding over him and he knew it was relief.

"Oh, thank god!" Brian breathed, combing his fingers through the blonde hair.

"W-what happened?" Justin croaked, blinking and looking around dumbly.

Brian just shook his head gently and kissed Justin's forehead gently, careful to avoid causing more pain. Then, spotting Vance's bright red face, he answered,

"I think we both just got kicked out of college."

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**Epilogue**

"He's hot."

"Too young."

"I thought you liked younger guys."

"Not _that_ young."

"Fine."

"What about him?"

"Too hairy. Him?"

"Just … no."

"Brian," Justin whined, thumping him gently in the chest. "You're being so picky tonight."

"Mmm, well, why would I want these second rate 'roid-cases, when I could have perfection." He pulled Justin towards him by his t-shirt and kissed him deeply. When they pulled away, Justin looked up at him strangely for a couple of seconds before bursting out laughing.

"Romance doesn't suit you," he chuckled.

"I tried," Brian shrugged to their audience of three nonchalantly as he took another swig of his beer. Ted and Emmett just shook their heads like fond, but disapproving, parents. Michael, on the other hand, seemed livid and the frown on his face was impossible to miss. But Justin did miss it and shouted excitedly,

"Ooo! Him?" And pointed at a young twink, who was giving them both the eye.

"What is this?" Michael asked bitterly. "A fucking trick-auction?"

Brian and Justin both turned to look at him with angry glares making Michael feel immediately uncomfortable. And he didn't feel any more comfortable when Brian wrapped one arm around Justin's chest and placed the other in the hair at back of the kid's head.

"You're just annoyed because he's not checking you out," Justin grinned, trapping his tongue between his teeth, making himself look about seven years old.

"Now, now, Sunshine," Brian said in the younger man's ear. "Let's not rub it in because little Mikey's jealous."

Michael scowled back but Brian just gave him a look which said, 'stop'. It didn't need to be said out loud again. Just like the obvious double meaning of Michael being jealous didn't need attention drawn to it. Michael had had to learn the hard way that Justin was different. Over the last few months, Brian had spelt it out to him as bluntly as was possible in his own discrete I-don't-give-a-shit-about-anyone kind of way but the only time he'd really said it was almost straight after the attack as they sat in hospital, whilst Justin underwent a whole load of tests to make sure his brain wasn't damaged.

Michael and Brian had talked a lot after Brian had lost his job. Because, even after everything that happened, Michael was still the person Brian turned to when things went wrong. Michael had listened as Brian had ranted and shouted about how he was going to kill Chris fucking Hobbs. And he'd listened as Brian claimed he hated Justin for making him lose his job. Then, after a few Jim Beams, he'd listened to him claiming that maybe it was worth it because he'd hated that fucking job anyway. And, when they were both full of junk food, high as kites and wasted off their faces, he listened as Brian claimed the whole thing had been fate and that he was _meant _to meet Justin because now he was free from all the shit he hated about his life.

That was when Michael had decided it was enough … in more ways than one. Firstly, it was enough drugs and drink but secondly it was enough following his friend around like a love struck puppy because it was clear Brian had found a new puppy to devote all his attention too and quite frankly Justin seemed to be able to keep Brian guessing, keep him on his toes and keep him interested in a way Michael knew he never would. And although a part of Michael would always want Brian for himself, he knew he wouldn't be able to put up with Brian's tricking and he wouldn't keep him satisfied enough to lure him into coming back time and time again … it was clear this kid was special though Michael would never understand why but what he did realise was that the pang of jealousy was lessening. He hardly minded at all as he watched his best friend and the boy wonder disappear into the sea of sweaty bodies.

Michael could see them talking to each other and he saw Brian laughing like he'd never seen him before, like something was actually funny and not in a bitterly ironic way but just genuinely amusing. Then he saw them kissing and had to look away. Emmett nudged him in the back and pointed towards the dance floor.

"Come on baby, this is my song."

"You say that about every song."

"Well, what can I say, when you look this fabulous, every song is your song. Come on Teddy," he grinned, grabbing the accountants hand and making to join their friends.

"Hey guys, hope you don't mind if we join you," Ted said almost nervously.

"Well actually, you are cramping my style," Brian said but seeing the angry glares he added, "but I guess, as we're celebrating, we can make some kind of exception."

Michael almost snorted. He hardly felt that the fact Brian Kinney was finally getting out of college and starting out in the real working world of advertising tomorrow or that Justin had decided to go against his parents wishes and try his hand at becoming an artist at Pittsburgh's Institute of Fine Arts was a good enough reason to celebrate. Maybe that was because it wasn't easy for Michael to accept that Brian was moving on and even growing up but he was trying to get his head around it because, as unbelievable as it sounded, the perpetual Peter Pan seemed to have found a reason to grow up.

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**Just want to say ... Thanks to EVERYONE who's reviewed this story and also thanks to everyone who's read it. I hope you liked it.  
I.B...xx**


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